


Through The Years

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Established Relationship, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-04
Updated: 2009-08-07
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:57:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: They've known each other Jared's entire life...this is a story of love, denial and prejudice - and reflecting back through their time together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This is my Big Bang fic for livejournal, it's complete at 33,000+ words. I'll post some today and the next and next .. lol - I hope that you like it! My banner was made by the awesome sweetest_potato - thankies babe!
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> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hello, we're here!" Jensen called as he and Jared walked into the house. Jensen frowned and stepped aside, allowing Jared to pass by. He shut the door and locked it; when he turned around, Jared was standing practically against him. "What?" Jensen smiled.

 

Jared shrugged and stepped closer. "I just felt like kissing you," he grinned. Jared pushed him against the door and pressed his lips against Jensen's plump ones. Jensen rested his hands on Jared's waist as Jared slid his hand along Jensen's jawline, turning his head slightly so that he could deepen the kiss. When they pulled apart, Jared's thumb softly circled his cheek. "I love you."

 

"I love you, too," Jensen told him, leaning in for another kiss. 

 

"Uhhhhh! Get a room!" a disgusted voice gasped behind them.

 

They pulled apart and Jensen chuckled. "Hey, 'Kenze."

 

"Hey," she smiled and walked over for a hug, and then kissing his cheek. "I've missed you."

 

Jensen wrapped his arms around her. "I missed you, too. I hate only seeing you a few times a year!"

 

"Me too, big brother, but at least this time it's here. I'm still in shock that Mom's - well, that she called you. Everyone's out back," she said, thumbing over her shoulder. 

 

"Ok, we'll just go and put our stuff up in my old room and we'll be back down."

 

"Good luck with that," she scoffed.

 

"What?" 

 

"Yours and Jared's stuff in your room? Mom won’t ever go for that."

 

"She will or we'll leave." Jensen shrugged. "She's the one who invited us to stay here and asked us not to go to a hotel; she knows we live together - in the same bedroom. She’ll either accept it, or like I said, we’ll go home."

 

Mackenzie laughed. "Like I said, good luck with that." She turned and headed back outside as Jared and Jensen climbed the stairs.

 

When they reached his room, Jensen set his suitcase down on the edge of the bed. "What are we doing here, Jared? She's gonna freak...and I’m gonna get pissed and say something, and it's gonna go downhill from there. I know she's trying - but..." Jensen sighed, shaking his head.

 

Jared walked up behind him, wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder after placing a kiss to his neck. "Let's just see what happens, ok? Don't go worrying about it now. Just wait till we have to face it, alright?"

 

Footsteps could be heard on the stairs, and then in the hallway. "Looks like it's now..." Jensen moaned, leaning back against Jared's chest.

 

"Boys," Donna said, somewhat uncomfortably, even though she was trying to be polite. "You made it."

 

Jared let go of Jensen's waist and turned around. "Hi, Mrs. Ackles," he smiled.

 

"Hi Mom," Jensen added before he moved forward to embrace her. "It's good to see you."

 

"You too, sweetheart, it's been a while."

 

"Yeah," Jensen nodded against her neck. "I'm assuming that Jared and I are staying here in my old room?"

 

"Well, your brother and Allie are in his old room - Megan is sharing with Mackenzie, Sherri and Jerry are in the big bedroom downstairs, and Jared's brother and his wife will be in the computer room on the futon, but Jared will have to..." she trailed off.

 

"Be in my room with me," Jensen finished for her. Donna started to shake her head, and he sighed. "Jared, get your bags - we're going to a hotel," he said, picking his suitcase up off of the bed, "and we'll leave in the morning."

 

"Jensen sweetheart, please don't go. I'm trying really hard - but you and Jared - "

 

"Are in a monogamous, loving relationship. We are committed to each other, Mom. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Jared and I have been together for a long damn time. He is my partner in every sense of the word. He is the other half of me, and if we could be married in this country legally, we would be. But unfortunately, they don't allow that here - so we did the next best thing: we said our vows to each other in front of family and friends. Now, I hate to be a dick to you in your own home, but you have one of two choices here: Jared and I stay in the same room here or we leave for a hotel and we'll head back home tomorrow morning. End. Of. Discussion."

 

Donna sighed and shook her head in defeat. She really did want her son to stay; she had not seen him or spent any time with him since they had all learned that he and Jared had moved on to something more than friends. "Stay. I want you to stay."

 

"I'd like that Mom, I really would. But, I'm not changing who I am to make you more comfortable. Ok?"

 

She nodded before deciding to change the subject. "I hope you boys are hungry. We have tons of barbeque out back," she said, heading to the door. 

 

Jared turned around and looked at him, slightly sheepish, if not a little hesitant. "That went better than I expected."

 

"Yeah, it did. Mackenzie and Josh must have said something to her. Maybe they even said something to Dad."

 

"Well, whoever it was, I want to hug them," Jared said with a smile.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

When the boys returned downstairs, the rest of their families greeted them happily. Jared's parents hugged Jensen tightly, telling him that it was good to see him again, and that they'd missed him. 

 

"I've missed y'all, too. I'll tell you, Jared and I were thrilled that you came for the ceremony. You'll have to come back and visit us soon!"

 

Donna fidgeted in her chair some at the conversation. She felt beyond guilty that she had not spoken to her son for the last several years. And while she knew that she was solely to blame for it, it didn't make it any easier to accept.

 

"Mom? You alright?" Mackenzie asked from beside her. Donna shook her head, lips tight. "Mom, nobody here is judging you. We're all here because Jared and Jensen had a Holy Union and we're all a family now. We want to celebrate it together."

 

"I don't think that's true, sweetheart. I haven't spoken to Sherri in years - and she's been...I don't know. Distant." Donna shrugged. "I'm trying honey, I really am. But I think that everyone in here is judging me, especially your brother. I know that things didn't go well when we found out that he was gay, and it was even worse when we found out that he was with Jared. I just, I don't know - I was so worried what Sherri would think of me, my son corrupting her sweet, innocent little boy."

 

Mackenzie snorted. "Mom, Jared is far from sweet and innocent. He's only two years younger than Jensen, you know. They've been together for a really long time."

 

Donna sighed. Hard.

 

"Mom, if you weren't ready to accept Jensen for who he is, why did you invite them here?" A rougher edge had come into Mackenzie’s tone, but it seemed involuntary. 

 

"I don't know. I just know that I'm not ok with this, Mackenzie. I don't know that I'll ever be," she huffed. Donna got up and headed into the house, shutting the door behind her. 

 

Jensen looked over at the sliding glass door and saw the pained look in his mother's eyes. He didn't know what else he could do to try and get through to her. What he did know was that if she made Jared even the least bit uncomfortable or made him feel unwelcome, they'd just leave. 

 

And never come back. 

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen took a seat next to his father. "Hey Dad," he said quietly.

 

"Hi Jensen," Alan smiled. "You getting too old to hug your old man?"

 

"I wasn't sure that you wanted one," Jensen said flatly. "I mean the last time I saw you, I was eighteen, and had left that school y’all sent me to. Mom was standing in the living room crying and you looked at me and said that as far as you were concerned, you only had two children because I refused to go back, and I told you that Jared and I were together whether you liked it or not."

 

Alan made a weird noise, as if he were stifling a near sob. "I'm so sorry for that, son," he said as his eyes filled with tears. “I wouldn’t ever want to not see you. I was - I don't know, I lashed out - and...and...I couldn't accept that my son was gay. I know that I don't deserve another chance, but I'd like one if you'll give it to me."

 

Jensen stood up and pulled his father up into his arms, able to see the genuine remorse in his father’s expression. "It's ok Dad," he whispered against his shoulder. "I'm not worried about what happened, I just want to know that you love me and can accept me and my husband."

 

"I do, son," Alan said, pulling away from the embrace. "I do." Alan turned around and looked across the yard to where Jared was standing with his mother and younger sister. "Jared!" he called out, "come here, son.” He carefully swept a tear off of his cheek as his arm was still firmly around Jensen.

 

Jared frowned but as soon as his gaze landed on Jensen, he saw the smile that was plastered across his face. He trotted over quickly. 

 

"Hi, Mr. Ackles," Jared smiled at him. "It's nice to see you again. It's been a while.” He extended one of his hands.

 

Alan accepted the handshake. "Good to see you, too, Jared. You're right; it has been a long time. I'm very glad that you two accepted the invitation.” After he said this, he pulled Jared into a hesitant -- but very meaningful -- hug.

 

"Me too," Jared said with a nod, returning the embrace.

 

"Just promise me something," Alan said, breaking away.

 

"Yes sir, what's that?"

 

"Be good to my boy. He's had enough pain from his family over the years; he shouldn't have that from his husband."

 

Jared's smile lit up the neighborhood. "I will sir, you can count on that," he said slipping his arm around Jensen's waist. "I love him, nothing will ever change that."

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Jensen and Jared were sitting on one side of the table while Sherri and Donna sat on the other. It was mid afternoon the next day, and sitting before them were several boxes; boxes that were full of photos. Jensen had come across them in the attic when he'd gone on a search for their old volleyball net and ball. When he'd found the photos, the game was quickly forgotten. He'd come downstairs, a box in his arms and asked their mothers to join them at the table for a walk down memory lane.

 

"Ooooh! Do you remember this?" Donna asked, holding out a photo for Sherri to look at.

 

Sherri smiled and nodded. "I sure do; it was the day after I brought Jared home from the hospital," she crooned.

 

"Let me see," Jared said, reaching for the photo. It was of a two-year-old Jensen sitting on the couch with a plump baby across his lap, and Sherri sat beside him, holding Jared's little head. "Man, this was right after I was born?" Jared laughed.

 

"Yeah, it sure was," his mother smiled. 

 

Jensen leaned over and looked at the photo, a playful smirk lighting up his face. "Wow, you were a little porker, weren't you?"

 

"Shut up!" Jared laughed again, play-punching Jensen in the arm. Both men looked up when they heard their mothers laugh. 

 

"What?" Jared asked.

 

"Well, it's just funny that Jensen called you that," Donna said, "because the day she brought you over here....."

 

 

Twenty-five years ago

 

 

"Jensen, come here baby!" Donna Ackles' voice beckoned her two-year-old. "Mommy wants you to meet someone,” she added with a wide smile.

 

Jensen came stumbling through the house and he frowned when he saw Mrs. Padalecki standing there. Donna could see that her son was confused. "I know you know Mrs. Padalecki, baby. Mommy wants you to meet her brand new baby boy." Donna walked over to her youngest and picked him up, then carried him over to Sherri so that he could see the bundle in her arms. "This is Jared."

 

Jensen leaned toward Sherri and peered into the blankets. "Baby fat," he said bluntly. 

 

"Jensen Ross Ackles!" Donna scolded. "You do not say things like that!"

 

"Donna, it's ok,” Sherri said with a little laugh. “Yes Jensen, Jared is a little chubby. But he's a brand new baby boy, and sometimes babies are born big and sometimes babies are born really small."

 

"Down!!" Jensen squirmed in his mother’s arms.

 

Sherri grinned at the toddler. "Do you want to hold him?" 

 

Jensen's eyes grew wide and he nodded, falling still in his mother’s arms almost instantly. Donna carried him over and plopped him down on the sofa. Sherri neared him and laid a part of Jared gently on Jensen's lap, holding the rest of her baby herself. 

 

A frown came to Jensen’s face as he looked down at the sleeping baby.

 

"What is it Jensen?" Sherri asked, slightly concerned.

 

Jensen shook his head.

 

"It's alright to tell me," she said with an encouraging smile, and she pushed Jensen's bangs across his forehead.

 

"Love da baby..." Jensen said sweetly, before bending down and placing a wet, sloppy kiss to Jared's forehead. Jared started to cry, his small face contorting in displeasure, and Jensen frowned at him again. "Issss ok baby," he whispered. "Ooook." Jensen gently rubbed his hand across Jared's stomach trying to comfort him, as if he knew just how to soothe him.

 

 

Back to present

 

 

"It was the sweetest thing," Sherri said, her tone nostalgic. "You were so worried at why Jared was crying. I tried to pick him up and take him from you and you flipped out! You just wanted to keep holding him," she chuckled.

 

"Remember how he cried when you and Jared left?" Donna asked her.

 

"Oh my God, yes, it was terrible. You kept opening and closing your tiny little fists and crying 'want babyyyyyyyyyyy!' It was so precious."

 

Jensen could feel his face turning red. 

 

Jared smirked and leaned in toward his lover’s ear. "Guess you didn't ever want me out of your sight from the moment you laid eyes on me, did you?" 

 

"Shut up," Jensen groaned.

 

Jared slid his hand across Jensen's flat stomach and bit at his earlobe. "Admit it, you love me and you know it."

 

Jensen turned his head to look into Jared's cat-like, hazel eyes and he gasped. Sometimes he was still overwhelmed when he looked into Jared's eyes and was able to see the deep trust and love there.

 

"What?" Jared asked, a smirk playing at his lips.

 

Jensen only shook his head, starting to lean forward. "Nothing," he whispered against the other man’s lips, "I just love you."

 

"I love you, too," Jared told him after they broke from the small kiss.

 

Jensen looked across the table at Jared's mother, who was staring at them with a huge grin on her face, and then over at his own mother, who looked very uncomfortable. "So, more pictures?" Jensen asked, clapping his hands together.

 

"Uh, sure," Donna said, pulling out the next stack.

 

Jensen could tell that his mother was extremely put off by their display of affection, but he didn't care. If she was going to have him back in her life, it was all or nothing.

 

"You know, you boys didn't always get along..." Sherri told them, her tone making it obvious that she was attempting to fill the awkward silence that had fallen over them.

 

"We didn't? I don't recall us ever having a fight as kids, Mom," Jared said, shaking his head.

 

"Well, when you were older, no, not so much, but as toddlers, oh - you two drove us crazy sometimes."

 

Jensen chuckled. "I remember this one time when he stole my Ninja Turtles."

 

"You had Ninja Turtles?" Jared howled out in laughter. "That's too funny!"

 

"Yeah, I had them and YOU stole them from me!"

 

"I did not, I wouldn't ever take anything from you, baby," Jared grinned, waggling his eyebrows.

 

"Oh, really? I seem to remember when I was eighteen, you stole something of mine that I can't EVER get back."

 

Donna pointedly cleared her throat. "No sex-talk at the table, boys."

 

"Why not?" Jensen asked with a shrug. "Is it really that bigga deal to know that the only person that I have ever had sex with is the man that I'm married to?"

 

Donna sighed. "Jensen, I'm trying. Ok? I'm really trying, but you're making it so difficult!" she said heatedly, throwing the stack of pictures into the box.

 

Jensen shook his head. He’d known it was too good to be true. "Well fine! I'll make shit up to make you happy. Uh - - when I was sixteen I went out behind the school and fucked a cheerleader. She was this cute little blonde girl..."

 

"Jen," Jared said, sliding his hand across Jensen's arm. "Calm down babe..."

 

Jensen only shook his head once more and leaned back in the chair.

 

"I'll go put on some coffee," Donna said, getting up out of the chair. 

 

“I’ll join you,” Sherri said, rising and looking sorrowfully at the boys.

 

As soon as they were gone from the room, Jensen looked over at his husband. "I want to leave."

 

"Jensen, please - for me? Our families are together for the first time since we were in high school. I want to stay. I know that she's not making it very easy, but I do think that she's trying. Cut her some slack. You were dragged to church your whole life, you know how the church frowns on homosexuality, but yet you're here, with me," Jared said, and he clasped his hand overtop of Jensen's. "Can we stay?"

 

Jensen nodded, took a deep breath and said "If I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna need a drink."

 

Just then Donna came into the room with a very cute, petite blonde behind her. "Look who stopped by," she smiled, looking over at Jensen's first and last girlfriend, Stephanie McWinters.

 

"A double," Jensen added, before walking to the bar set in the corner of the dining room.

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen gave a last smile to Stephanie as she waved her goodbye, heading to her car. He turned around, a scotch still in his hand (his fifth one) and slammed the door. "MOM!" he yelled.

 

"Jensen..." Jared said, trying to stop him from causing a full-on Ackles fight. 

 

"MOM! What the fuck were you thinking?" he growled in her face.

 

"Me? I didn’t do anything, Stephanie just happened to stop by..." she tried.

 

"No Mom, she didn't. I asked her how she knew I was in town; she said that you called her yesterday and told her that I would be here. That she should stop by. And I see that you conveniently forgot to tell her that I was MARRIED!"

 

Donna opened her mouth to speak, but it fell closed lamely. Then she said "I'm not talking to you while you're in this condition, Jensen. You're drunk. We can talk tomorrow."

 

"I'm not drunk!" he said, waving his arm around. He didn’t seem to notice when some of his drink sloshed out of the glass, splashing to the floor.

 

"Yes, son, you are," Alan said, taking the glass from him and setting it down on the table. "Sleep it off for me, okay?" he asked cupping his face. "I'll talk to her tonight, alright? I'll talk to her. Just go up to your room and you and Jared get some rest. Don't leave."

 

Jensen sighed and nodded. He turned to Jared who was standing behind him; his hand was resting on the side of Jensen's hip. "Upstairs, k babe?"

 

"Yeah, come on." Jared smiled and led his husband out of the room. 

 

 

~

 

 

"M'sorry..." Jensen drunkenly confessed on the way to their room. "Don' mean to be a pain."

 

Jared chuckled. "You're not a pain, Jen. How many times have you taken care of me in this state? Huh?" he asked as he sat Jensen down on the bed. He slowly knelt to pull off the other man’s shoes and socks.

 

Jensen started to laugh. "’Member thaa time in high school. You hada date with that chick," Jensen said. He snapped his fingers clumsily. "Whatshername? Shelby!" he said triumphantly. Jared grasped Jensen's shirt and pulled it over his head while Jensen lifted his arms clumsily to help. He fell back on the bed and Jared reached for the button on Jensen's pants.

 

As he started to lower the zipper, Jared chuckled. "Yeah, I remember. You were in high school though; I was still in middle school. I was only fourteen. And I remember that you tried to help me out with..."

 

 

 

Eleven years ago

 

 

Jensen knocked on the Padalecki's door. Normally, he would just walk in since he and Jared were best friends and all, but today the door was locked, much to Jensen’s confusion.

 

"Hi Jensen," Sherri greeted him. "He's up in his room."

 

"Thanks, Mrs. P.” He gave her a quick smile and took the stairs two at a time.

 

Jensen rounded the corner and pushed open Jared's door. "Ok, what's the fucking emergency?" he asked as he shut the door behind him. He walked to the bed and stretched out on it, tucking his hands beneath his head.

 

"Man...I - I got a date. With Shelby Peterson - and I'm freaking out!" Jared’s tone could easily be called one of panic. "What if...what if she wants to..."

 

"Fuck?" Jensen leaned up on his elbows as the widest, toothiest, most Cheshire Cat grin that was ever seen spread across his face.

 

"Jennnn....NO! Nevermind. Just go home. I'll figure it out on my own," Jared said, and he started to pace his bedroom.

 

"Ok man, sorry. What are you freaking out about?"

 

Jared plopped down on the bed and sighed. "Man, I've never been out with anyone before. I've never - never - uhhhhhh." Jared groaned as he covered his face with his hands, plopping down on the bed. 

 

Jensen laughed and pulled it away. "You're worried she might want to kiss you, huh?"

 

Jared kept his eyes closed and nodded.

 

"Man, it's not a big deal. You just close your eyes and kiss her."

 

"You're NOT helping!!!" 

 

Jensen sighed. "Alright, if you tell anyone that I did this, I swear to God I'll fuck you up, Jared! You understand me?" Jensen’s tone was one of warning. He got up quickly and went to the door to lock it.

 

Jared frowned at him. "Tell anyone what?"

 

"Sit up," Jensen told him as he sat back down. 

 

Jared did. 

 

"Now, chicks like it when you do this," Jensen said, and placed one of his hands on the side of Jared's face. Jensen gently moved his thumb across Jared's cheek. "Now, you lean in and kiss her. Close-mouthed the first time, okay?" Jensen asked him. 

 

Jared nodded. 

 

"Good," he said. Slowly, he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to Jared's lips. "Like that...ok?"

 

Jared hitched a labored breath. "What...if - she, uh, if she wants something longer?"

 

Jensen blinked. He was feeling - weird. He knew that there were times in the past that he'd had dreams about - well, not girls. But he did some research and found out that it was perfectly normal for a teen going through puberty to have dreams and sometimes fantasize about the same sex. It didn't mean that you were gay. But this...kissing Jared....he liked it.

 

"Uh, you uh - you can make it longer if you want," he whispered and leaned in again, his hand still on Jared's face. His other hand came to rest on the inside of Jared's folded knee, and when Jared didn’t seem to mind, Jensen pressed his lips against his again, this time letting the kiss linger. When he touched his tongue to Jared's lips however, Jared let out a gasp and pulled away.

 

"Jen?" he asked, confused.

 

"Sorry...oh God, Jared," he gasped and stood up. Jensen rushed to the door, his face heating up in shame and embarrassment. "I'm so sorry!" he said. He twisted the doorknob and yanked it open. He ran full speed down the stairs and out the front door, ignoring the confused look he got from Sherri, who was standing in the living room. He didn't stop running until he was several blocks away.

 

 

~

 

 

"I had a good time tonight, Jared," the pretty brunette told him. 

 

"Yeah," Jared said uncomfortably. They were currently standing outside the movie theater. "Me, too."

 

"Jared?"

 

"What?"

 

"Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?" she asked. "I mean, my mom will be here in a few minutes to pick us up, and you haven't tried to kiss me or hold my hand all night. Don't you like me?" she pouted.

 

"Yeah, sure," he said, and he reached up to place his hand on the side of her face. He leaned in uncertainly, and he pressed his lips against hers lightly. And it felt wrong. All wrong. He pulled away suddenly. "God Shelby...I have to go. I'm sorry, but I really have to go!" he said, starting to walk backwards away from her.

 

"Jared! What's wrong?" she practically cried, her cute face scrunching up in hurt and confusion.

 

"Nothing, you're great Shelby - you're just - I'm sorry, but you're not the person that I should be kissing!" Jared turned on his heels and ran down the street. He had to get to Jensen. Right the fuck now.

 

 

~

 

 

Jared opened the Ackles' front door, dashing inside, then climbing the stairs two at a time. He thundered down the hall until he made it to Jensen’s room, and he grabbed the doorknob quickly. He flung open the door. "Jen!" he said with a smile on his face.

 

And that's when Jared's world shattered. Jensen was lying on his bed with a girl. Kissing her. His hand was up her shirt, obviously groping her breasts.

 

Jensen jumped away from the girl as if he were burned. "Jared?" he said, wide-eyed and scared. "It's not..."

 

Jared shook his head, able to feel a lump forming in his throat, and he turned and ran down the stairs as fast as he could. He practically knocked Donna down when he pushed past her at the door, and he didn’t even have it in him to apologize. 

 

"JARED!" Jensen yelled as he ran to the door to try and catch his friend.

 

"You boys have a fight?" Donna asked her son.

 

"No," Jensen said slowly. With a shake of his head, he turned to go back upstairs.

 

 

~

 

 

Jared bounded up the porch steps and into his house, a bunch of different emotions pulsing through him. 

 

"Jared, honey, come here and help me a moment," Sherri told him as he entered, but he ignored her and ran upstairs. When he reached his room, he slammed the door shut.

 

Sherri frowned - Jared was a good kid. He'd never outright ignored her before, so she knew something was wrong.

 

She went quickly to his room, and when she reached his door, she knocked lightly. "Jared," she said, trying to open the door. It was locked, another thing that Jared rarely did. "Open the door, baby."

 

"Go away..." his muffled and broken-sounding voice echoed through the door.

 

"Jared, let me in," she told him again.

 

Sherri waited a few minutes and sighed in relief when she heard the door latch click open. As soon as Sherri entered the room, Jared fell face first onto the bed, burying himself amongst his pillows. 

 

She cautiously walked over to her son's side and sat on the edge of the bed. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

 

Jared shook his head.

 

"Did your movie date end badly, sweetheart?" she asked, starting to caress his back.

 

Jared moved from having his face pressed in the pillows and laid his head in his mother's lap, grasping her legs. Sherri felt the bed shake. Her son was crying.

 

"Baby, tell me what's wrong," she said, carding her fingers through his hair.

 

"Jensen," he whispered.

 

"You two boys have a fight?"

 

Jared shook his head, but he didn’t seem to want to answer.

 

"What then? Oh God, is he ok? He's not hurt, is he?" she asked in a near panic.

 

"No. He's not hurt. He - he - I was nervous because I thought that Shelby might wanna kiss me. I've never...I haven't ever..."

 

"It's ok baby, we all have our first kisses. What happened?"

 

"Jensen told me that - " Jared paused and took in a shaky breath. "Momma, he kissed me to show me how to do it, and..." he trailed off, waiting for the proverbial shit to hit the fan - but she didn't seem all that fazed by his words.

 

"And?" she pressed.

 

"I liked it Momma. I liked - he - he did it again after the first time - and..." Jared took another unsteady breath, and he pressed his face against her thigh.

 

"Did Jensen get upset?"

 

"Yeah, but only because I pulled away. I don't know Momma, I didn't freak out, but when he tried to kiss me - you know, with his..." Jared shrugged. “Tongue…” Jared paused again and looked up at her sheepishly.

 

"Yeah baby, I get it, go on." A small smile played at her lips at his awkward expression.

 

"I pulled away when he pushed his tongue against my lips and he freaked out and left. I went on my date with Shelby and she wanted to kiss me. It was wrong Momma, it was all wrong. I don't want to kiss her. I...want Jensen."

 

Sherri continued the loving motion of threading her fingers through her son's hair, but she didn’t speak. Jared was scared; more scared than he'd ever been in his entire life, but he couldn't stop talking, stop telling her what he was feeling.

 

"Momma, do you hate me?"

 

"Hate you?" she asked, pulling him into a sitting position. "Why would I hate you, baby?" she asked, caressing his face.

 

"Because I love a boy," he said, hanging his head.

 

"Love? You think you're in love with Jensen? I mean, you're only fourteen and I know that it's normal for some sort of hero worship to be misconstrued as love or lust...maybe..."

 

Jared shook his head. "It's not hero worship, Momma. It's just not."

 

Sherri smiled at him and tucked his unruly hair behind his ear. "Ok. But for the record, I wouldn’t care if you shaved your head, put on a dress and yelled 'Call me Cindy!' from the rooftops. I love you, nothing will ever change that."

 

Jared snorted and wiped at his eyes, a weak smile coming to his face. 

 

"Uhhh, sorry. The front door was unlocked." Jensen was suddenly standing in the doorway of the room, looking awkward and uncomfortable.

 

Sherri stood up and walked to the door, pulling it shut behind her. She went down the stairs and called Donna, figuring that she’d, too, be an understanding and loving mother.

 

 

~

 

 

“Go home, Jensen,” Jared said flatly. “I don’t want you here.”

 

“Jared, just let me explain…” Jensen said, nearing him.

 

Jared skittered across the bed away from him. “I don’t want to talk to you. Go back to your girlfriend,” he snarled.

 

“She’s not my…”

 

“You know, if you were just gonna end up finding some girl to go off and fuck, why on earth did you kiss me, huh? Were you doing it just to laugh at me?”

 

“No Jared, --”

 

“Did you sit in there in your bedroom and laugh about me with her?” Jared interrupted again.

 

“No! It wasn’t like--”

 

“Just leave, Jensen!” Jared wiped at his wet eyes. He didn’t know what was worse -- the fact that he was crying again, or the fact that Jensen was there to see it.

 

"Jared, will you let me talk?" Jensen asked in a pleading tone. He rounded the bed and walked toward Jared.

 

"Leave!" Jared shouted. He knew that he was being childish, but he didn't care. He was on the verge of a full-on cry and he didn't want Jensen there to witness it.

 

"Goddamn it!" Jensen growled. 

 

He suddenly reached out and grabbed the front of Jared's shirt in a tight fist. Jensen yanked the younger boy against his body and kissed him. Properly. 

 

Jared whimpered when Jensen's tongue pushed into his mouth, and his hands went to Jensen's waist as if he were trying to pull him closer. When Jensen leaned back, he looked deeply into Jared's eyes. "Now that I have your attention, what I've been trying to say is: I'm sorry that you saw that. When you pulled away earlier...I thought that you were..." Jensen shrugged, looking like he was having trouble admitting this. "I don’t know, grossed out or something. Like I was disgusting. I never knew that I liked you like that. Not till I kissed you. Then all these - " Jensen shivered like the word 'feelings' was something revolting to say. "I just - I liked it. And when I saw the look on your face when you saw me in my room with her, I knew."

 

"Knew what?" Jared asked quietly.

 

"That I liked you," Jensen admitted, blushing furiously.

 

"You do?" Jared asked, turning just as red.

 

"Yeah," Jensen nodded. 

 

"So what are we gonna do?" Jared asked, sitting back down on his bed.

 

Jensen chuckled. "I liked the kissing thing, we can do that some more," he said with a cheeky grin.

 

Impossibly, Jared turned even redder and he looked away. "That's not what I meant, you idiot."

 

Jensen sat down beside him. "Oh, well, what did you mean?" he asked.

 

"Us,” Jared answered simply. “What are we gonna do about us?"

 

"I dunno, what do you wanna do?"

 

With a smile, Jared leaned forward and tentatively kissed Jensen again. "I kinda liked the kissing too, actually," he said honestly.

 

Jared leaned forward again, fusing their mouths together. Their kiss deepened, and Jensen took control again. He pushed his tongue into Jared's mouth, and pulled him down on top of himself at the same time. Jensen allowed his hands to come to rest on Jared's waist, while Jared's right hand was on Jensen's chest, the other firmly on the bed. 

 

"My mom could come in," Jared whispered against Jensen's lips.

 

"So," he Jensen said before pulling Jared flush against his body. Jared slid his leg between Jensen's, his knee coming into contact with Jensen’s growing erection. Jensen gasped loudly and pulled his head away from Jared, throwing it back against the bed slightly. "God!"

 

"Sorry," Jared mumbled, trying to get up, thinking that he hurt him.

 

Jensen stopped him, grabbing him firmly. He cautiously slid his hand to Jared's ass, as if testing the waters. "S'good," he said on a slight moan, pushing their mouths back together. 

 

They lay on the bed kissing and groping at one another, and before long they were both impossibly hard and panting. When Jensen shifted underneath Jared's body, pressing his dick against Jared's leg, he came hard and long in his jeans, his cries of lust and passion muffled by Jared's kisses. Jared humped against Jensen's leg and groaned low in his throat, experiencing a pleasure he’d never felt before. Jensen rolled them over, getting on top. He kissed Jared roughly and he pushed between his legs. He humped him slowly, making Jared squirm, and this time it was Jared's head pushing into the bed, his back arching up. 

 

"Jen..." he whimpered. 

 

Jensen pushed his body hard against Jared's spread legs and watched in satisfaction as Jared came, his body shuddering and his eyes rolling back in his head.

 

"You ok?" Jensen asked, smiling against Jared's lips.

 

"Christ."

 

Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Boys?" Sherri’s voice came through clearly, and the door started to open. 

 

They sprang apart quickly, Jensen moving so fast that he fell to the floor with a crash. He let out a very unmanly yelp. 

 

"Oh honey, are you alright?" she asked him, immediately concerned.

 

"Yeah," he answered, clearly embarrassed.

 

"Um, Jensen...” Sherri sounded suddenly uncomfortable, if not a little guiltily. “I think that I may have made a huge mistake."

 

Jensen frowned at her in question, raising his eyebrows as he scurried off of the floor.

 

"I called your mother and - well, Jared told me about his - uh, attraction. I thought that your mother would understand, not be this judgmental shrew - “ Sherri cut herself off by covering her mouth. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that about your mother, sweetheart. But she told me to tell you to come home right away... I'm so sorry, Jensen."

 

Jensen nodded slowly, not very sure what was going on, and he turned to look at Jared. He tried to ignore the sticky mess in his underwear. "I'll call you later," he said.

 

"K."

 

That call never came.

 

 

~

 

 

Jared knocked on the Ackles' door heavily for what felt like the hundredth time. "Hello? I know you're home. Your car is in the driveway! Open the door!" His voice started to get louder as he began pounding on the door. "Just tell me where Jensen is!" he shouted.

 

It had been three months since the day they’d shared their heated kisses and brought each other into blissful orgasm - which ultimately awakened an amazing love inside of Jared. Something he’d never felt before, something he never wanted to stop feeling. He knew that everyone around him thought that he was too young to know what love was, but he didn’t care. He knew what he felt for Jensen, and knew that Jensen felt the same way.

 

Jared had stayed up until close to four in the morning that day, waiting for Jensen to call. When the call didn't come, he’d finally fallen asleep with the phone set upon his chest, his hand wrapped loosely around it.

 

The next day Jensen wasn't at school. Jared had run all the way to his house to find the Ackles home dark and their driveway empty. Every single day after that, Jared would stop at their house to try and get one of them to tell him where Jensen was. And every day, he was ignored, the family not answering the door.

 

Sherri had even called Donna daily trying to help, begging her to pick up on the answering machine. She was also very effectively ignored.

 

Jared pounded on the door hard, his hand starting to hurt and he yelled, "I'm not leaving until you open the fucking door!!"

 

That's when the door finally opened and he found himself face-to-face with a pissed off Donna Ackles. 

 

"I've called the police and reported you for disturbing the peace,” she said darkly. “If you ever come back here again, I will call the police again. Do. You. Understand?" If he didn’t know any better, he might have said her tone was full of hatred.

 

"Where's Jensen?" he demanded.

 

"Somewhere that your sick little mind can't find him," she snarled before she slammed the door in his face.

 

His mind racing, Jared walked slowly back home. Where could Jensen be and why hadn't he written Jared a letter? Tried to call him? Something?

 

As he was climbing the porch steps, his head bowed and shoulders hunched, his mother flung open the door. "Baby! Come here," she said, holding the cordless phone to her ear. "You'll never guess who I'm talking to," she added with a smile.

 

Jared snatched the phone as nicely as he could, and on his way up the stairs, he said, "Jensen?"

 

"Hey." It was the voice Jared had been longing to hear, sounding like music to his ears. "I miss you," Jensen said almost shyly.

 

"I miss you, too. Where are you?"

 

"Colorado," Jensen answered. “I'm at a boarding school for defiant and troubled teens. Can you believe that shit? This place is so fucking..." Jensen sighed after he trailed off.

 

"Why'd they send you there? Because my mom told them that you were gay?"

 

"Well, your mom didn't exactly tell them that I was gay, Jared. She told her that we kissed and - you know how religious they are. They freaked. I got home that night and we got into it as soon as I walked in the door. My mom was yelling at me, wanting to know why I kissed you, and my father was saying he wasn't having a homosexual in his home. It was horrible. I yelled back that I was still me, that just because I liked a boy didn't change who I was. They sent me to my room. My computer was gone, the phone in there was gone - everything. I took a shower and when I got out, they were in my room waiting for me. Dad told me to pack my clothes, that we were catching a plane. They brought me here. It's so strict, Jay. I can't even talk without permission. Or..."

 

"Or what? They don't like beat on you or anything, because if they do, I'll tell Mom and Dad and they'll call the police..." 

 

"No Jared, nothing like that. You get put in solitary. It's like a prison cell. Literally." Jensen chuckled slightly.

 

"What could possibly be funny?" Jared asked in almost a whisper.

 

"They freaked out because I told them that I liked you and not some cheerleader, and what do they do? Send me to an all boys school. Kinda ironic, huh?" Jensen did sound amused.

 

"How are you calling if it's so strict, Jensen? I mean, you didn't like, leave after curfew? I don't want you getting in trouble for me."

 

"No, I'm not. My roommate, Donny, he's something else, I tell ya. I don't know how he does it, but he has a cell phone." By his tone, it sounded like Jensen was shrugging. "I guess he finally found out that he could trust me today when I covered for him at breakfast. He was late and they were gonna throw him in the hole, but I told the teacher that he had diarrhea," Jensen snorted, "when he was really just making out with his boyfriend. He got to breakfast, and I made sure that he saw me first and I said 'Hey man, diarrhea all gone?'. So today, he came in from class and threw a phone on my chest. Told me to call my boyfriend and maybe I'd quit moping so much."

 

Jared grinned and leaned back against the headboard of his bed. "Your boyfriend?" he asked, his cheeks practically hurting from his huge smile.

 

"Yeah, well, if you want to be. I mean, God only knows when I'll get to see you again, but I promise to call you everyday."

 

"You will?"

 

"Yeah, I will." Jensen sounded like he was smiling, too.

 

"Yes," Jared simply said.

 

"Yes, what?" Jensen asked, almost dumbly.

 

"I'll be your boyfriend, stupid! Geeze!"

 

 

~

 

 

Two years later

 

 

"Hey, what're ya doing?" Donny asked as he walked into his and Jensen's dorm room.

 

"Packing, what does it look like I'm doing, fucktard?" Jensen retorted with a smirk.

 

"Why are you packing? You plan on scaling the walls?" Donny asked next as he plopped down on his bed.

 

"Today's my eighteenth birthday - I'm leaving," Jensen simply said. "I've been locked up here for two years. I wasn't even allowed to leave for the holidays, even had to stay on in the summer because my family doesn't want me near Jared. I haven't seen him. I miss him, and - and," Jensen sighed as he shoved more clothes in the duffel bag.

 

"You want to tell him that you love him face to face finally, not over the phone."

 

Jensen smiled. "Yeah."

 

Donny stood up and walked toward his dresser. He moved it out from the wall with a little grunt, and he pulled back the loose floorboard. "I still can't believe with how fucking strict this place is that they haven't ever found all of my hiding places," he said with a laugh. He reached inside the floor and pulled out a small paper bag, which he then held out to Jensen. "Here. You'll need this, cause I know your fucking family never sends you anything."

 

Jensen curiously took the bag and peered inside. His eyes widened, and he looked back at Donny as he reached inside and pulled out a wad of money. "Where'd you get this?" he asked, amazed.

 

"From Derek - you know how his brother hooks him up when he visits. I have the best boyfriend ever! Take it, you can pay me back someday," he said, slapping Jensen on the back.

 

"I can't take your money, man! What were you saving it for?"

 

"Nothing really, just take it. It's only like three hundred dollars, man; it'll get you home. Like I said, after college and after you get a job, pay me back, because you better keep in touch!"

 

Jensen pulled his friend into a hug, more grateful than words could ever describe. "I will. I swear. You have Jared's number, you can get in touch with me there. He'll know how to find me."

 

"Dude, what are you gonna do if your parents won't let you stay?" 

 

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Get a job, look for someone to stay with. I know that Jared's folks will let me stay with them till I save enough for an apartment. I'll figure something out. I just know that I can't go one more day without him."

 

 

~

 

 

The bus ride was practically torture. He'd hoped against hope that he'd make it back to Texas that same day, but after waiting four hours for departure, riding six hundred sixty seven miles - and a slow ass bus - it was already well past midnight. There would probably be another two to three hours before they got to Dallas.

 

Jensen shut his eyes, praying that sleep would come easy. Maybe when he woke, he'd be in Dallas and only a few miles from Jared.

 

 

~

 

 

"Son? Hey - wake up, kid..." 

 

A voice broke into Jensen’s dreams. Opening his eyes, he found the bus driver standing over him.

 

"Huh, what happened?" he asked groggily.

 

"We're here kid; you have to exit the bus. Sorry," the man said, and he seemed to mean it.

 

"Yeah, thanks," Jensen said. He climbed to his feet with a yawn and stretched.

 

"Someone gonna pick you up? It's four A.M., you know. You really shouldn't be alone on the streets."

 

Jensen frowned slightly. He knew the old fellow was just being kind and concerned, but he wasn't a child. "No, I'm walking to my boyfriend's house, and I'm eighteen, not a kid," he said.

 

The old man chuckled. "When you're as old as I am, anyone as young as you is a kid to me. I'll give you a ride if you want."

 

Jensen smiled. "Really? Thanks."

 

Jensen followed him off of the bus, collected his luggage and then followed the man to his car. They didn't speak much other than the man asking Jensen for directions to Jared's house.

 

When he got out of the car, the guy said "Take care of yourself, boy."

 

"You too, sir, and thank you for the ride."

 

The man nodded and drove off; Jensen had never even asked him his name.

 

He took a deep breath and headed toward the house. He was really nervous about seeing Jared again, even though they’d been talking as often as they could despite the strictness of the school where Jensen had been effectively incarcerated. It'd been two years. What if Jared didn't like how he'd changed? What if he liked the old Jensen better?

 

He climbed the porch steps and stopped in front of the door. He glanced down at his watch and let out a little sigh. It was four-thirty in the morning. And it was a school day. Jared's mom was going to kill him for waking them up so early.

 

Getting an idea, Jensen backed off of the porch and bent down. He picked up a small rock and turned it over in his hand, chuckling. They still had that stupid fake rock with the key slot in it in case someone got locked out of the house.

 

He knew that it could possibly be a bad idea going into the house unannounced, but he didn't really want to wake everyone up. He wanted to spend time with Jared first. And he knew that he could be really quiet and not wake them up. 

 

Unlocking the door carefully, he crept inside, shutting it as quietly as he could. Then he made his way upstairs toward Jared's bedroom.

 

He entered Jared's room, and without thinking, shut and locked the door, all the better to give him and Jared some privacy, of course. When he turned around, he was jumped and knocked to the ground. He realized in shock that a large baseball bat was pressed against the back of his head.

 

"Move and I'll bash your fucking brains out!" Jared’s voice shook slightly. Then the room was filled with a loud "Daaaaaaaaaaaad!" as Jared screamed at the top of his lungs.

 

"Jared! Jared! Jared!" Jensen said, trying to get him to calm down before he really did smash the bat into his head.

 

There was suddenly a heavy banging on the door. "Jared, let me in!" came Jerry Padalecki’s words, his voice panicked and frenzied.

 

Jensen tried to roll over so that Jared could see it was him, but Jared pushed the bat firmly against his head. "I SAID DON'T FUCKING MOVE!" 

 

Jared's dad finally managed to bust into the room. "Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing in my son's room, you fucking pervert!?!" he snarled, pushing Jared out of the way. He flipped Jensen over.

 

"Jensen?" Jerry said quizzically.

 

"Yes sir. I'm sorry. I guess I should have knocked. But I didn't want to wake y'all up," he said, his voice shaking with nervous laughter. "I remembered y'all always kept a key in that rock-thing out front, so I let myself in."

 

"Jeee --" Jared gasped, not being able to complete his name. "Wha- what are you doing here?" he asked.

 

"Jensen?" Sherri Padalecki's voice rang from the doorway, a ten-year-old Megan standing beside her, looking quite scared.

 

"Hi Mrs. P." 

 

She walked over to him quickly, extending a hand for him to grab. She pulled him up to his feet. "Oh baby, I have missed you, and I’ve been worried about you for so long!"

 

"I've missed you, too," Jensen said, hugging her tight.

 

"Do your parents know you're here?" she asked.

 

"No Ma'am. I'll go see them later. But I don't think that I'll be very welcome there... I left school. I turned eighteen yesterday and just packed up my shi...uh, stuff and left." Jensen fidgeted a moment. "I was wondering if I could stay here until I get a job? And an apartment?"

 

"You didn't graduate yet, did you?"

 

"No Ma'am," Jensen said, shaking his head.

 

"Well, you will stay here and finish school, and then you worry about jobs and apartments."

 

Jensen smiled and nodded, before turning to look at Jared. "Hey," he whispered.

 

Jared visibly swallowed, opening his mouth to say something, but he was overwhelmed at the sight of Jensen. Jensen took a step toward him and Jared backed away.

 

"Come on, let's leave them alone to talk," Sherri said suddenly, leading her husband and daughter toward the door. She pulled it closed and was pleased to see that it would still shut; her husband hadn’t completely destroyed it.

 

Jensen tried to walk toward him again, but Jared backed away again. "Jared, what's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?" Jensen asked, his voice sounding broken and distressed.

 

"I'm - " Jared started, then paused and swallowed again. He blinked several times, trying to fight back the tears that had started to pool in his eyes. "I'm afraid that if I reach out to touch you, you won't be real and you'll disappear."

 

Jensen smiled and walked up to him. He reached up and gently placed his hand on the side of Jared's jaw, his thumb brushing circles against his cheek. "I'm real," he breathed out softly. Then Jensen leaned forward and kissed him slowly. "Open your eyes Jared," he whispered.

 

Hesitantly, Jared looked at him. "God I missed you," he said. He fell into Jensen's arms and hugged him tight. "How did you get here?"

 

"Bus, and I missed you, too."

 

Not needing to hear anything else, Jared mashed their mouths together, kissing him deeply. It was messy and frantic, hard and glorious.

 

Jared started to lead them toward his bed, nudging Jensen backward. They fell in a tangle of limbs onto the mattress, their hands groping and grasping at one another. Their whole world existed of touches and soft whimpers, hands exploring each other’s bodies. Jensen grabbed Jared's ass and pulled him closer, causing him to moan against his lips, their crotches coming into full contact with one another.

 

"Can't do this," Jensen muttered against Jared's lips.

 

"Can. Mom and Dad went back to bed. Megan knows better than to come in here without being invited; she knows I'll kill her!"

 

"No," Jensen said, and he managed to knock Jared off of him. "We can't because..."

 

"I'm only fifteen? That's bullshit and you know it."

 

"No Jared, not because you're fifteen. You'll be sixteen in a few months. And I just - I just want you to be sure."

 

"I'm sure," Jared insisted, pushing Jensen back on the bed. "I want to...touch you. Can I?" he asked, before he boldly rubbed his hand down Jensen's stomach and across his jean-clad dick.

 

"Nuhhh." A growl left Jensen as he thrust up off the bed. "Jared," he managed in a bitten off moan.

 

Once more, Jared rubbed his hand across Jensen's crotch, and Jensen turned on his side before pulling Jared toward him. He pressed their mouths together tightly.

 

Jensen reached between them and laid his hand over top of Jared's, where it was still rubbing up and down on the bulge in his jeans. Jensen moved his hand slightly higher so he could unbutton them and started lowering the zipper on his pants. Jared's hand practically lunged inside and wrapped around Jensen's dick. Jensen moaned into Jared's mouth, a moan that actually sounded more like a whine.

 

Jensen wiggled slightly, his lips falling away from Jared's and he managed to get his jeans down over his hips, freeing his cock and bringing Jared's hand into view. He watched as Jared slid his hand up and down his hard length. "Fuck," he muttered quietly as his head fell forward, coming to rest against Jared's neck.

 

Jensen's body started to shake and shudder, his orgasm nearing, and Jared tightened his hand around him, stroking harder, faster. He pressed kisses to Jared's mouth between moans and gasps of pleasure. Jensen arced back, his mouth forming a perfect O as he shot his load across Jared's hand and pajama pants.

 

Jared continued to stroke him through the mind-numbing aftershocks. He finally let Jensen's softening cock go and brought their lips together.

 

"Jesus Christ," Jensen whimpered. "I don't think my brain will work for a few days...that was...that was..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

 

Jared grinned and hovered, his face over Jensen's. "You liked it?" he asked.

 

"Oh hell yeah," he nodded.

 

"Good. I've been dying to do that for two years," Jared said, blushing.

 

"And I've been dreaming of doing this," Jensen said, before he rolled over on top of his boyfriend. Jensen pulled Jared's pajama pants down, his cock bouncing lewdly as it flopped free from them. Jensen raised his eyebrows and looked up at him.

 

"What?" Jared frowned as he tried to cover himself up, feeling suddenly very shy.

 

"Don't," Jensen said, he leaned down and moved Jared's hands out of the way. "I wasn't...I like what I see, Jared. You're truly big all over."

 

"Shut up," Jared said, covering his face. He was burning with embarrassment, but his cock was growing impossibly harder.

 

Jared almost shot up off of the bed when his dick was encased in warm, wet heat. "Oh fuck!" he groaned when his hands flew off of his face and he realized that it was Jensen’s mouth on him.

 

Jensen sucked tentatively on the head of Jared's dick. The taste wasn't unpleasant...just - weird. He'd done research on the internet after Donny had told him how he could get around being watched by the teacher from the main computer to monitor what he was looking at when he was on the school’s computers. He'd even gotten advice from Donny on how to properly "suck cock" as his friend had crudely told him.

 

But actually doing it was proving to be quite hard. Jared kept thrusting up into Jensen's mouth, causing him to choke, which in turn made Jared thrust again from the humming vibrations. Jensen only bobbed his head about halfway down Jared's cock three times before Jared was writhing and moaning. Jensen pulled off of him, trying to quiet the sounds and curse words falling from his lips. He was certain that Jared's parents could probably hear him.

 

Jensen started to jack Jared, slow sure strokes up and down, his hand twisting across the head. Jared's entire body shook violently and he howled as come started to erupt from his dick. Jensen pressed his mouth over Jared's, hoping to muffle the sounds.

 

When Jared had squirted his final release and his body had started to stop shaking, Jensen chuckled. "You're a noisy one during sex..."

 

"Shut up!" Jared said, turning red again.

 

"We need to clean up and change," Jensen said, getting out of bed. He hitched his jeans up as he walked across the floor to his duffle bag. He bent down and pulled out his pajama pants. When he turned around, Jared was in his personal space.

 

"I love you," he whispered.

 

"I love you, too," Jensen said with a warm smile. "It's really awesome to say that to your face instead of into your ear on the damn phone."

 

"Yeah. Yeah, it is," Jared said, and leaned over to kiss him again.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

In the morning, Jared and Jensen came down the stairs together. They stopped at the bottom when they heard Jared's parents arguing.

 

"I don't see what the big deal is, if they're gonna do it, they're gonna do it no matter where they are and what obstacles they have to hurdle. We let them sleep in the room together last night, and you know as sure as you are sitting there that Jensen'll just end up in Jared’s room every night anyway!"

 

"He is fifteen years old! Jensen is eighteen. What if...what if someone finds out? Jensen could get arrested for statutory rape and we'd probably go to jail for allowing it in our house! You heard them last night!"

 

"For heaven's sake," Sherri growled as she slammed a plate on the table.

 

"Uh, Mom?" Jared said as he came around the corner. "I don't want you two to fight. I figured that Jensen would want his own room. And - uh, sorry."

 

"Sorry for what baby?" she asked him, throwing a scowl at her husband.

 

"That you're fighting about us having sex," Jared simply said. "That's what you're fighting about, isn't it?"

 

"Yes baby, we are. Don't you worry about that. Where's Jensen?"

 

Jared chuckled. "Still hiding in the stairwell."

 

"Jensen honey, come on and sit down, breakfast is almost ready. Then you have school."

 

Jensen came into the room, his face bright red. He'd always known that Jared and his parents had a very frank and honest relationship, but he was still embarrassed.

 

"Mom? Can we not go to school today? I swear that I'll get all my homework and get it all done tomorrow. But I just wanna spend the day with Jensen. I haven't seen him in two years. Please?" 

 

Jared unashamedly used his puppy dog eyes on his mother, the same eyes he'd used many times when he was a little boy to get out of trouble. And they still worked.

 

Sherri smiled and nodded. "I'll call the school after breakfast."

 

Jared grinned brightly. "Thanks, Mom."

 

Jerry only sighed and snapped open his newspaper....

 

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

(previous chapter ended w/ a flashback...)

 

_Back to present_

 

 

"You 'member how pissy my parents were when I went to see them?" Jensen slurred.

 

"Yeah, your mom was bawling and sobbing that the school didn't help you, and your dad threw us out of the house, telling you that you didn't exist. I don't know how you survived that," Jared said.

 

"Cause I had a better family with you," Jensen said matter-of-factly. "I mean hell, my folks were so horrible in the weeks that followed, your dad transferred to the San Antonio office so that we could get away from them." Then Jensen chuckled.

 

"What?" Jared asked, tightening his hold on Jensen.

 

"Just that he loved me enough to transfer to another office. But I remember that he was sooo pissed that your mom let us stay home," Jensen chuckled drunkenly. "He was so scared that we were gonna screw again, and I don't know, tape it and put it on the internet or something."

 

Jared tightened his arms around his husband even more. "If you remember correctly, you blew me again that morning after they left, and I returned the favor. So we did screw in the house again. We screwed in that house a lot," Jared pointed out.

 

"I wanna screw in this house a lot," Jensen said, rolling over on top of him. 

 

"Jen, you'll pass out, baby. You're pretty trashed...how about in the morning?" Jared asked. He knew that Jensen was close to it as they spoke; he'd actually passed out twice when Jared was talking about them falling in love, woken up and went right back out.

 

Jensen didn't respond. "Jensen?" Jared said again. He laughed when a snuffled snore vibrated against his chest. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's body and rolled to his side slowly, getting Jensen on his own side. After much rearranging, Jared spooned up against his back, wanting to make sure that if Jensen suddenly got sick, he didn't choke on it and suffocate. He pressed his lips to his neck. "I love you," he whispered.

 

"Looo you..." Jensen slurred. Jared slipped his arm around Jensen's waist and snuggled his face into the crook of his neck. Then he allowed a much needed sleep to take him.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Donna and Sherri were at the table, the big box of photos still sitting in the middle. Donna chuckled when she pulled out an action figure. It was one of Jensen's toys from when he was a little boy. "How on earth did this thing get in here?" she asked, looking at the green turtle, turning it over in her hand.

 

Sherri laughed and pulled the toy out of her hand. "You remember the fight that they had over these stupid things?" 

 

"Oh my God, Jared threw such a fit when you took them away from him, remember how he was going through that biting phase?"

 

"It was terrible! I had no idea how to break him of the habit..."

 

 

_Twenty-three years ago_

 

 

"Moooooooooommy! Jared took my Raphael!" Jensen wailed down the hallway.

 

"Then play with Leonardo or Michelangelo - or - or - the other one!" Donna called back to him.

 

Jensen came running into the room, and he frowned up at his mother. "Donatello, Mom, and I don't want to play with those - I want Raphael. I had him first, and Jared took him."

 

Donna reached down and picked Jensen up, sitting him in her lap. "What has Mommy said about sharing?"

 

"I was, Mommy. I gived Jared the other ones, but he wanted mine, an when I wouldn't give it to him, he bited me."

 

"He bit you?" Sherri asked him.

 

"Uh-huh," Jensen nodded. He lifted up his arm and showed her the bite mark on his arm. 

 

Jensen squirmed out of his mother's lap and headed down the hallway when Jared gave one of those high-pitched, bratty screeches that only a two year old could make.

 

"Uhhh - what am I gonna do with him? Jeff never went through the biting stage, but Jared! I don't know what to do to break him of the habit. You know he bit Jerry last night? I've tried everything."

 

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY!" Jensen bawled, running down the hallway again and flinging himself in his mother's lap. His hand was bleeding slightly from what appeared to be tiny little teeth marks.

 

"Oh my God!" Sherri gasped, and was up and off the couch. She came into the playroom and found Jared sitting on the floor with all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles around him. "Jared!" she scolded, "You do not bite people!" She reached down and pulled all of the toys into her arms. "You won't be allowed to play with these until you learn that you don't do ugly things like that."

 

Jared flung himself back on the floor and proceeded to have a temper tantrum, his legs kicking and thrashing around.

 

Sherri picked up her flailing two year old and walked down the hall. "I think that it's nap time," she said to Donna. 

 

Donna nodded and continued to cuddle a whimpering Jensen in her arms. "Yeah, this one too, I think," she said. She bent and kissed his forehead.

 

"I don't wanna nap," Jensen whined, though he rubbed his eyes.

 

"Oh, I think you need one," she chuckled and stood up. 

 

"Mommy, can Jared stay?" Jensen asked, sobbing into her chest. "Pleeeease?"

 

"No baby, Jared is too little to sleep in a big boy bed like you do. He could fall off and get hurt, and you wouldn't want that would you?"

 

Jensen shook his head.

 

The women said their goodbye's, making plans for later in the week, and then Donna walked her baby back to the bedroom for his nap.

 

 

 

_Back to present_

 

 

 

Donna looked sad as she stared down at a photo of her holding a four-year-old Jensen.

 

"What's wrong?" Sherri asked.

 

"What did I do wrong? I mean, Jeff and Mackenzie grew up normal. I treated them all the same... what did I do wrong with Jensen?" she quietly muttered.

 

The hair on Sherri's neck seemed to bristle, the color in her face deepening to a dark red. "What do you mean what did you do _wrong_? Because he's **gay**?" she huffed.

 

Donna nodded.

 

"There's nothing wrong with Jensen. He IS normal. He's just a gay man, Donna."

 

"Something went wrong somewhere!" Donna snapped back. "If it didn't, then why would he choose to live his life like this?"

 

Sherri took a deep breath. She purposefully tried to remain calm. "Nobody _chooses_ to be gay, Donna. Just the same as nobody chooses to be white, African American, Hispanic or Oriental. It's just how they were born. It's who they are."

 

Donna glared at her a moment. "I don't believe that," she said. Donna stood and headed toward the kitchen.

 

"And that is why you'll lose your son forever," Sherri said pointedly. She got up from the table and headed upstairs.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Jensen rolled over toward Jared, his head coming to rest on his chest, his arm draping across his waist. Jared's eyes fluttered open and he looked at the top of Jensen's head and chuckled.

 

"Shhhhh," Jensen hushed. 

 

Jared lightly skated his hand up Jensen's back and bent his head to the side, kissing him on the forehead. "Pretty hung over, huh?" he asked.

 

"Mmmm," was all Jensen could muster as a response. He'd already fallen back asleep.

 

There was a quiet knock at the door. "Yeah?" Jared said somewhat quietly.

 

Sherri peaked around the door to make sure everyone was decent, then proceeded into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed beside her son. "What's wrong?" Jared asked, concerned.

 

Sherri shook her head and sighed. "Donna...I just, I don't know what we're all doing here, Jared. She's never going to change. Never. You remember that horrid fight that we got into when she found out that Jensen left that school and moved in with us when he turned eighteen? It's the whole reason that we up and moved to San Antonio." Sherri rubbed her temples and sighed. "She's a bigoted, rotten, sorry excuse..." 

 

"Mom," Jared said, he caressed her arm lovingly. "I know that it's hard, but Jensen misses his family. I know that we are his family, and he loves us all, but these are his parents. Regardless of what they've done to him, he's missed them. And he's already made amends with Alan, which is fantastic. Maybe it'll just take Donna longer."

 

"She'll never come around, Jared. Do you know what she said to me?"

 

"What?"

 

"She wanted to know what she did wrong raising Jensen. Why her other two children were normal and Jensen wasn't."

 

"She really said that?" Jared asked, disgusted.

 

Sherri nodded. "I don't understand how she can be like this toward one of her children. It's pathetic, it really is," she said swiping her hand lovingly down Jensen's face. "He's such an amazing man. I love him like he's mine and it makes me sick that she's treating him like this." A tear trickled down her face.

 

Jared smiled. "You know that Jensen loves you too, right?"

 

Sherri smiled back. "I know, he tells me all the time."

 

"You know what he asked me right after we got married?"

 

"What?"

 

"If you and Dad would mind if he called y'all Mom and Dad."

 

"What did you tell him?" Sherri asked, beaming.

 

"That y'all would love it. I just think that he wants to ask you is all, not to just do it," Jared shrugged.

 

"I would love it if he called me Mom, so you do me a favor and tell him that, ok?"

 

Jared's grin lit up the room. "I will."

 

Sherri stood up and bent to kiss him. "I love you."

 

"I love you, too, Momma," he told her.

 

Sherri then leaned down again and kissed Jensen on the forehead. "I love you, too, sweetheart."

 

Jensen murmured something that neither of them understood.

 

"Mom?" Jared said when she reached the door.

 

"What?"

 

"Thank you," he whispered.

 

"For what?"

 

"For accepting me for who I am and never letting me feel like I was a disappointment."

 

She smiled, winked at him, and left the room. Jared pressed his lips to Jensen's forehead and kissed him sweetly before wrapping his arms tighter around his body.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Jensen snuffled his face against Jared's chest. His nose rubbed against the smooth planes of Jared's muscles; Jensen only opened his eyes when he heard his quiet chuckle. "Feel any better?" Jared asked.

 

"What time is it?"

 

"It's after noon," Jared answered.

 

"Uhhh...I'm never drinking again," Jensen declared.

 

"Till next time?" Jared laughed.

 

"Yeah," Jensen groaned and scrubbed a hand across his face.

 

"Get up and get dressed, I hear McDonald's calling us."

 

"I can't eat," Jensen said, clutching his stomach and screwing up his face. “I’ll never be able to eat again,” he added dramatically.

 

"Babe, you know that greasy food and a large coke from McDonald's is the best hangover cure out there! Now come on, get up," Jared told him and prodded his side.

 

"Jerk," Jensen whined.

 

Jared chuckled and asked "Your jerk?"

 

Jensen turned around and winked. "Always."

 

They dressed quickly and made their way downstairs, only to be greeted by both their sisters. "Where are y'all goin'?" Mackenzie asked.

 

"McDonald's, Jen's hung over. It's the best cure."

 

"I know," both girls responded. "Can we come with?" one of them added.

 

"You know?" Jensen frowned. "How do you know? You're just a baby! You better not be drinking!"

 

Mackenzie snorted. "I'm twenty, far cry from being a baby, Jensen. And Megan is gonna be twenty in a few months, so lay off," she joked, shoving him.

 

"I don't want to think about you doing anything grown up! Either of you," Jared said, pointing between the girls.

 

Megan gasped. "God, we better not tell them that we've actually had sex!" she mocked.

 

"With each other?" Jared and Jensen said together.

 

Megan and Mackenzie busted out laughing. "No, you idiots! With our boyfriends!" Megan snarked and smacked them both.

 

"Of course, it would be pretty funny to freak Mom out, wouldn't it?" Mackenzie sniggered.

 

"Don't even joke about that," Jensen said, suddenly serious. "Believe me, it's not a pleasant feeling to know your own mother is disgusted by you," he finished glumly.

 

"Jen," Mackenzie said sadly and reached out for him. 

 

Jensen took a step back. "If you're coming with us, go grab your shoes, you're not going into Mickey D's looking homeless," he joked, pointing down at Mackenzie's feet.

 

She nodded and took the stairs two at a time, followed by Megan. 

 

Jared sighed and opened the door. "Come here," he said to his husband.

 

"What?" Jensen frowned.

 

"Come here," Jared motioned him out onto the porch.

 

Jensen growled in frustration and stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind him. When he turned around, Jared was in his personal space. As usual. Not that he minded of course. He wrapped his arms around Jensen, who immediately started to struggle against him. 

 

"Don't," he said weakly. "Jared..."

 

"Shhhh," he whispered. "I got ya," he added as he held Jensen tighter.

 

"Jay - no. Let go. I didn't want 'Kenze hugging me like this because..." his voice started to break, a quiet sob breaking free. "If Mom sees me like this, Jared, she wins," he whispered.

 

Jared tightened his hold even more. "She's inside baby, she's not gonna see anything."

 

"Ja-" Jensen started to say as his voice finally broke fully.

 

"I got ya," Jared said again, kissing Jensen's cheek where a tear had flooded over the edge of his eye to fall down the freckled surface.

 

Jensen took a deep breath and blew it out, wanting to compose himself before their sisters came outside. 

 

"I love you," Jared told him.

 

"I know you do, and I love you, too." Jensen broke out of Jared's hold and swiped at his eyes. "I'm all red and puffy now, huh?"

 

"You're beautiful," Jared said with a smile.

 

Jensen snorted and shook his head. "Chicks are beautiful, guys, not so much."

 

Jared smacked his ass as he went down the steps and headed to the car. 

 

"Hey, don't jostle the merchandise!" Jensen said, swatting back at him.

 

"That ass is mine tonight baby," Jared said, waggling his eyebrows just as their sisters came out of the house.

 

"Uhhhh - " Mackenzie said, "get a room."

 

 

~

 

 

They spent the day with their sisters, even caving and going to the local mall so that they both could get a new outfit. Much to Jensen’s relief, around four in the evening his hangover finally started to filter away and he was actually starting to enjoy himself for the first time since they had arrived.

 

"You're in a good mood," Jared said, reaching down and taking Jensen's hand in his own. He brought it to his lips and kissed it.

 

"Yeah, I'm having a good time. I've really missed them. I know that we see them once or twice a year, but -" Jensen shrugged, "- it's not enough."

 

"You saying you want to move back to Texas?"

 

"No. I don't want to be that close to my mother," Jensen answered matter-of-factly. 

 

"Well then, we need to make sure that we visit more often, and make sure that they come see us, too."

 

"Yeah, but we're staying in a hotel next time. I don't like being chastised and criticized when I touch or kiss you. And if she doesn't lay off Jay, it's gonna get ugly."

 

"Yeah baby, I know," he smiled and leaned in. He pressed a quick kiss to Jensen's lips. Under normal circumstances, they wouldn't be so overly affectionate in public in a place like Texas, but, well, Jared was, simply put - huge. Jensen was all lean muscle and hard lines, too, so for the most part, they knew that they wouldn't be bothered.

 

"Jensen, I don't know how to tell you this," Jared said with a sigh.

 

"Is it bad?" he frowned.

 

Jared nodded.

 

"Just tell me then. It's like ripping off a band-aid. You peel it off slow, it just allows the pain to hang around longer."

 

"Mom and Donna were looking at old photos and, well, she wanted to know what she did wrong."

 

Jensen frowned.

 

"You know, in raising you. She wanted to know what she did wrong as a mother to make you want to be gay."

 

Jensen snorted out a humorless laugh. "Fucking unbelievable," he said, shaking his head. "God Jay, I just wanna go home. I wanna go home and get back to our lives - get back to talking about the family that we want to have. I don't need this shit."

 

"Jensen?" Mackenzie appeared behind him. They both turned to see the girls standing there. "Start a family?" she asked, beaming.

 

Jensen felt the corner of his mouth rise in a one-sided smile. "We're just talking about it 'Kenze, we haven't even checked into it yet."

 

"But - y'all want a baby?" she gushed.

 

Jared nodded. "Yeah, we do. We're both financially stable now; we've just bought our house and gotten married. We're really ready and want to do this."

 

The air was filled with loud screeches and two young women flinging themselves into their brothers’ arms.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Two days had passed and there had been few words spoken between Jensen and his mother. Jensen would answer her questions when she asked them, but he did not start any conversations with her. 

 

Alan had talked to his wife until he felt the heat rise in his cheeks, anger boiling to the surface. He'd been blind and ignorant for many years, but he was going to change that now. He loved his son, missed his son, and he would storm into Hell itself to prove that he was sincere. He only wished Donna would come around, too.

 

Jared's brother and his wife, along with Jensen's, had all only stayed the first three days, having to return to their own homes and jobs. Mackenzie was going back to college in the fall along with Megan, so neither of them had anywhere to be, and the Padalecki's were staying till the end of the week.

 

The families had decided to get together that evening in front of the television to watch some movies. Each person got to pick out a movie and then they would decide which one they'd be watching.

 

"Die Hard!" Jared said as he held his arms up in the air.

 

"No!" Mackenzie said. "I want to watch something romantic, I don't wanna see John McClain blow shit up!"

 

"Mackenzie," Donna chided, not wanting to hear her daughter cuss.

 

"Oh, Mother, please, you own Die Hard. Do you know how many times Bruce Willis says ‘fuck’ in it? Give me a break!" she huffed, throwing the DVD onto the floor. Jensen and Jared both chuckled at the stunned look on Donna's face, but to their luck, she didn't hear them.

 

"How about Shaun of the Dead?" Megan asked, holding up the movie.

 

"I love that movie!" Jared yelped from the couch where he'd retired when his third choice of movies was shot down.

 

"You would," Jensen muttered. Jared was sprawled out along the entire couch. He reached up and grabbed Jensen and pulled him down on his lap. Jensen gave a high-pitched, girly squeak as he tumbled backwards, not expecting Jared to grab him from behind.

 

"What was that?" Jared growled in his ear as he wrapped his arms around his waist.

 

"Let go, you overgrown child!" Jensen said as he struggled, laughing the whole time.

 

Jared spread his legs and as Jensen's butt came to rest between Jared's thighs, Jared pulled him back against his chest. "I say you lay here like this with me for the movie," Jared whispered into his ear, before lapping at his ear gently.

 

Jensen let out a slight whimper and then asked "What about my mother? She's already giving us daggers." 

 

"If she doesn't like it," Jared said kissing him, "fuck her - let her go upstairs to bed and mope all by her stupid, prejudiced self!"

 

Jensen frowned and pulled back. "Did something happen? Did she say something to you?"

 

"Later baby, I wanna enjoy this time with our family and watch a movie, ok? Please?"

 

"Ok," Jensen said, "but you're telling me when we go upstairs."

 

"Promise," Jared smiled and kissed him again.

 

Donna promptly cleared her throat at the display of affection. 

 

Alan looked at his wife. "That's enough," he warned. Donna scowled and leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest like a petulant child.

 

"Shaun of the Dead?" Megan said again.

 

"How about Sense and Sensibility?" Sherri asked.

 

"NO!" Jared, Jensen, Alan and Jerry all said together.

 

After about twenty minutes, they all decided on Smokey and the Bandit. It had action, comedy and romance - something to make them all happy.

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen stayed on the couch with Jared, his back against Jared's chest with Jared's arms around his body. It was eating away at him to know just exactly what Donna had said to Jared, almost to the point that it was all he could think about. Huffing out a sigh, Jensen turned in Jared's arms and got on his side. "What did she say to you?" he asked quietly.

 

"Babe, I wanna enjoy the movie, you're just gonna get pissed off if I tell you and it'll ruin everyone's night. I'll tell you later, ok?" Jared asked, and then placed a kiss to his lips. "Please?"

 

Jensen growled - literally growled - in frustration. "Fine," he surrendered, laying his head back down on Jared's chest.

 

"Hey," Jared said, placing his finger under Jensen’s chin, and lifting his head. Jensen looked up at him and smiled when Jared said "I love you."

 

"Love you," Jensen returned. 

 

Jared lowered his head and kissed Jensen slow and soft, their lips moving against each other's. Jensen chuckled when he felt Jared's cock jerk in his jeans against his hip. 

 

"Mmmm," Jensen said waggling his eyebrows, "helloooo."

 

Jared snorted, but quickly let out a hushed gasp when Jensen's hand caressed his now rapidly growing erection through his pants. "Jeeeeen," Jared mewled, resisting the urge to thrust up into his hand. 

 

"Upstairs?" Jensen smirked.

 

"Mmmm, yeah, ok," Jared panted quietly. Jensen stood up and headed to the stairs, followed closely by Jared, who, by all accounts, was walking slowly.

 

Megan wolf-whistled and Mackenzie added "Oooooh...I know what you two are doing, cuz it's only 8:30," she said in a singsong voice.

 

Donna made a tutting noise and huffed out a sigh. Mackenzie turned and looked at her. 

 

"What now, Mother, you gonna burn the bed after they leave?" she asked snottily. "I've gotta - uh! Gotta get outta here," she said, disgusted. She stood up and asked "Meg, wanna go for a walk?"

 

"Uh, sure - " she said, also standing.

 

As the front door slammed closed, Alan looked over at his wife. "Good job," he said haughtily.

 

~

 

When Jared closed the door and turned around, Jensen grabbed him and pushed him up against the wood, his mouth descending on his neck. He bit down hard. His teeth almost pierced the flesh, eliciting a whimper that was somewhere between pleasure and pain from Jared.

 

Jensen licked and lavished affection on the tender, bruised skin, then began to suck and lick in quick succession on the same spot, causing Jared to start to shudder against him. Jensen grabbed the hem of Jared's shirt and pulled up, watching as his lover lifted his muscular arms. Jensen held Jared's arms up over his head a moment, Jared getting the message to leave them there. He watched as Jensen licked and kissed his way across his bicep, his tongue swirling across the flesh.

 

Then Jensen took a small step back and pulled at Jared's belt, popping the button on his jeans and reaching his hand inside. The zipper fell of its own accord, and he slid his hand along Jared's sizable length. 

 

"God," Jared moaned. "What you do to me."

 

Jensen slid his hand out of Jared's pants and up his chest, pinching at his nipples and bending his head to take one taught peak into his mouth. Jared lowered his arms, one going around Jensen's waist, and the other to his hair. Jensen pulled off and pushed his arms back over his head. "No," he simply said, looking Jared in the eye.

 

Jensen wasn't the aggressive one in bed most of the time. Occasionally he would take control and fuck Jared, but for the most part, he was the bottom, not Jared. Not that Jared minded bottoming or controlling their lovemaking...but this - this was nice, too.

 

Jensen dragged him to the bed and gently pushed him down, straddling his prone body. "Gonna make you feel so good Jared," he rasped, his voice thick like honey. "Gonna lick you open, then fuck you slow, long and hard, baby." 

 

Jared's entire body shook in anticipation. 

 

Jensen grasped Jared's pants and boxers and started to pull them down his long, lean legs. "Lift up baby," Jensen whispered. Jared automatically lifted his hips and Jensen shimmied the pants down, grinning when Jared's now freed cock slapped against his stomach, already dripping come against his heated flesh.

 

Jensen pulled off his own shirt and unbuttoned his pants, swaying his hips side-to-side as he lowered them seductively. Jared wanted to sit up, rip his pants off and throw him to the floor to fuck him raw when Jensen looked at him like this. But it was plainly obvious; tonight, this was Jensen's show.

 

He got his pants to his knees and wiggled them the rest of the way off, his erection pointing up proudly. Jared wanted to reach out and wrap his fist around it, bring Jensen to completion as he licked and sucked on the head. Before Jared had the chance though, Jensen had prodded his legs apart and was pushing one leg up against his chest, exposing his tight pink hole. 

 

Jensen licked across his opening, musk and sweat and everything that was Jared flooded his taste buds. He blew across the wet stripe that he'd left, grinning in pleasure at Jared's shiver and moan that filled the air. He leaned back in, tonguing the small opening, his tongue briefly breaching through. "Love how you taste," Jensen whispered against his hole, licking and kissing the knot. "So good," he growled, the vibration making Jared's body shudder against his chin. "Gonna lick you open Jay - get you wide and ready for me..."

 

"Guhhh, God - Jen!" Jared gasped when Jensen sank his tongue inside. "Fuck...more!" he begged.

 

Jensen wiggled his tongue, dipping it deeper inside, and started to dart in and out, adding a finger to help with the stretch. Jared moved his hands down to Jensen's head, his fingers threading through the short, spiky locks. "More...more baby. Need to feel...God - UH!"

 

Jensen pulled his tongue out and licked across Jared’s balls as he pushed his finger fully inside, pressing against the sweet, spongy spot and loving the way that Jared's body went ridged. He pushed his finger in and out of Jared's tight ass and began to lick and suck across the underside of his cock, but not taking him into his mouth just yet. He just murmured across the length, his plump lips skating across the steely flesh. 

 

Jared whined at the sudden loss of Jensen's finger but started to writhe in ecstasy when Jensen returned with two, his dexterous fingers pressing over and over against his prostate. "Jen...gonna come," Jared gasped, his hand now fisted in the sheets beneath him.

 

Jensen pulled his fingers out and grabbed at the small bag that was lying on the floor purposefullly near the bed. He wrenched the zipper open and pulled out the bottle of lube before letting the bag fall carelessly back to the floor. He flicked the cap back, coated his dick with the slippery, warming substance and pressed his cock slowly into Jared's hole. Jensen hooked both of his arms under Jared's knees and brought his hands up on either side of Jared's head, getting his ass high in the air. Then he sank fully inside.

 

"Nuhhhhhh - uh! Jenjenjen..." Jared stammered, his head whipping from side-to-side as his husband’s dick collided into the wonderfully sensitive mass deep inside him.

 

Jensen nipped and bit at Jared's lips, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting down before pulling away, making Jared's lip bounce as it slid from between Jensen's teeth.

 

Jensen sped up his hips, fucking deeper and deeper into Jared's body, their synchronized moans filling the air as they both neared completion.

 

"Come on baby," Jensen said, snapping his hips, his balls smacking hard against Jared's ass. "Come for me, come on Jay...come on," he urged. Jensen let one of Jared's legs fall, pulled out and got to his knees. "On your side," Jensen said. 

 

Jared rolled over as told. Jensen took Jared's leg in his hand, lifted it up and held it behind the bend of Jared's knee, straddling his prone leg. Jensen pushed his cock back inside Jared and started pounding into him hard and fast, both of his hands holding tight on his leg. Jensen watched as he fucked faster and faster into Jared's stretched out hole, gasping at the sight of his cock sliding in and out of him. "God Jared, so fucking hot," he practically shouted as his orgasm started to take over. 

 

He felt that familiar pull and tingle across his balls, and wanted Jared to come with him. He pushed Jared's leg further, the wider stretch helping to aid Jensen's cock in pounding relentlessly into his prostate.

 

A sobbing cry of utter bliss escaped Jared's mouth as his cock spurted its release, the thick, white, ropey strings shooting up his chest and across the bed. The feeling of Jared's asshole clenching around his dick pushed Jensen into his own mind-numbing orgasm, his pants and moans loudly filling the air around them.

 

Jensen snapped his hips one, two, three more times before he managed to pull out, and he collapsed to the bed beside Jared's panting form.

 

"God damn," Jensen sputtered, his arm coming to rest across his forehead.

 

"Yeah," Jared huffed. "Yeah," he said again, this time rolling over and pressing a kiss to Jensen's mouth. "Let’s say we have round two later on tonight in the hot tub?"

 

"Good plan," Jensen said, pulling Jared into his arms. "Only if I can get my legs to agree to move," he added with a laugh.

 

Jared chuckled and closed his eyes.

 

Even though Jensen's mother was being an ass - life was pretty fucking good.

 

 

~

 

 

"Jay?" Jensen whispered into the room. "You awake?"

 

"Shhhh, I'm sleeping," Jared whispered back. "See, I have this amazing husband, and he fucked me two ways from Sunday, and I'm still recovering."

 

Jensen chuckled. "But everyone's asleep, and you promised me a round two in the hot tub."

 

"I'm up," Jared said, sitting straight up in bed. "This time, your ass is mine baby," he grinned and waggled his eyebrows. 

 

Jensen snorted and got out of bed, pulling on his boxers. He was whistling a little tune as Jared bent over to pick his up off of the floor as well. Jared turned his head and looked at Jensen, smirked and then shook his ass at him as he stepped into his underwear. 

 

They grabbed a couple of towels, wrapped them around their waists and headed downstairs, making their way out the back door to the patio, where the bubbling hot tub awaited them.

 

"Mmmm," Jared said, swirling his hand in the warm water. Even though it was midsummer in the horribly humid and oppressive Texas heat, the hot tub would feel wonderful.

 

Jensen slid in first, moaning at the warm blanket of water engulfing him. 

 

"Feel good?" Jared asked.

 

"It's awesome. Get in," Jensen motioned.

 

Jared smirked and pulled off his underwear before getting into the hot tub. He moved across the tub and straddled Jensen's legs. "Why waste time?" he grinned, grasping Jensen's underwear and pulling them off, letting them fall to the ground with a loud plop.

 

"You know my mother will probably blow this thing up if she finds out we had sex in it," Jensen sniggered.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Uhh, yeah," Jensen groaned as Jared canted his hips, rubbing across Jensen's dick with his own.

 

"Good!" Jared said.

 

"Jay," Jensen said, putting his hands on Jared's shoulders, stopping him from rocking against his body. "You never told me what she said to you that pissed you off so bad."

 

"It's nothing Jen, just let it go...I don't wanna talk about her right now," he answered, leaning down to kiss him fast and dirty. Jared slid his hands under Jensen's ass and lifted him up out of the water, sitting him on the edge of the tub. He pushed Jensen's legs apart and bent his head, sucking him down in one long pull.

 

"Nuhhh, fuck!" Jensen swore, his hands sliding in Jared's hair. He started to rock his hips slightly as Jared sucked him, his head bobbing up and down his velvet shaft.

 

Jared pulled off and ran his lips along Jensen's cock and down to his balls, sucking them into his mouth. 

 

"Oh God yeah, harder!" Jensen moaned loudly. "Jay...fingers - in me, please!" he begged.

 

Jared let Jensen's sac fall from his lips and he moaned as Jensen laid back on the decking surrounding the tub, spreading his legs. "Fuck Jen," he whispered, marveling at the way he was spread out for him.

 

"Please," Jensen whimpered, his back arching in anticipation. "Need it."

 

Jared nodded, slipping two fingers into his own mouth to make sure they were nice and slick before he slid them along Jensen's perineum, down further until they were resting against his twitching hole. He grinned to himself as Jensen tried to push himself down and onto the slight pressure he was applying. He was enthralled by the way Jensen was already losing control and yet they had barely done anything. It was one of the things he loved about Jensen, the way he was able to let all of his inhibitions go and just give in to the moment, to what he was feeling.

 

"Jared," Jensen gasped, lifting his head up and gazing down at the younger man. His eyes were half-lidded, his face full of need.

 

"Ok," Jared conceded and pressed in the first finger, the muscle giving easily as relaxed as Jensen was. Jared watched as he pressed in further, enjoying the way Jensen threw his head back and gasped, his back arching again.

 

Jared slid it in all the way, then back out again, steadily thrusting the digit inside Jensen. A moment later he was adding a second finger and picking up the pace. He couldn't stand it anymore, he had to have his mouth on Jensen again, taste the sticky fluid steadily leaking from his cock. He knelt up high and engulfed Jensen, no warning, and he was thankful for his diminished gag reflex.

 

"Fuck!" Jensen cried, his left hand seeking out Jared's head, the right splayed above his head. "Harder, Jay! Harder! Fuck-fuck me with your fingers!"

 

Jared, never being one to ignore such a request, picked up his pace. He pistoned his fingers in and out of Jensen's ass, searching for that spot inside of him with every thrust back in. He pulled off Jensen's cock slightly, keeping the head in his mouth as he flicked his tongue along the slit and the bundle of nerves just below it.

 

It was becoming increasingly harder for Jared to not touch himself, so with his free hand, he reached between his legs and started fisting his cock hard and fast.

 

"G-god," Jensen gasped, feeling his balls start to draw up. "I'm g-gonna come. Please Jared, make me come."

 

Jared re-doubled his efforts, rewarded with his tongue being flooded with pre-come, the salty flavor of Jensen bursting across his taste buds.

 

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," Jensen panted. "Jay...now. I'm, uhhhh - I'm..." Jensen's head flew back as Jared knocked into his prostate and forced him over the edge, sending him so far into oblivion that his vision blurred out for a moment as white-hot, searing pleasure tore through his soul.

 

As soon as the last few spurts filled his mouth, Jared splashed up out of the water, and pulled his mouth away from Jensen. He was still pumping his own cock and with a full body shudder, he came across Jensen's cock and abs. He pulled his fingers free from Jensen in order to support himself, spasms wracking through his body violently.

 

Gradually, they both came down. Jared settled on Jensen, panting into his neck and Jensen ran his hands up and down Jared's back, soothing away the small tremors still there.

 

"Mmmmm," Jared whispered, nuzzling into Jensen's neck. "I love you."

 

Jensen smiled and whispered back "I love you, too."

 

 

~

 

 

They laid there for a few more moments, reveling in each others arms before Jensen said "We better get upstairs before we fall asleep. Even as funny as it would be to see the look on my mother's face to see us laying on the side of the hot tub all naked and fucked out, I really don't wanna."

 

Jared chuckled and moved off of him. He picked up his towel and wrapped it around his waist. Jensen slid off the tub too, picked up his underwear and wrapped his own towel around himself as well. He pressed a quick kiss to Jared's lips, and together they went back inside.

 

Once in their room, Jared groaned. "Ah shit," he said, stepping into a pair of pajama pants.

 

"What?"

 

"I left my boxers downstairs. I'm gonna go get them. I don't want to be the cause of your mother's heart attack if she goes out there and finds them," Jared said, thumbing over his shoulder.

 

Jared took the stairs two at a time and rounded the corner. He frowned when he noticed the patio light on. He pushed out the door and saw Donna pulling open the drain on the hot tub. "Donna?" he said, "what are you doing?"

 

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Her response was curt. "I'm draining the hot tub. I will not subject someone else to your diseases!" she snarled.

 

"Diseases? Excuse me?" Jared snarled right back. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

 

"You, Jensen - people like you," she said, waving her hand around in the air. "Your punishment is that disease that kills your kind! It's God's punishment for living your life the way that you choose to!"

 

Jared couldn't believe his ears. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it and shook his head. "Fuck you! Fuck you and your narrow-minded bullshit. I've done nothing but bend over backwards since we've gotten here trying to keep the peace between you and Jensen because I know how devastated he's been all these years not having supportive and loving parents. I put faith in you that you could possibly not be the bigot that you apparently are. Don't worry, we'll be leaving in the fucking morning and you won't have to look at our diseased bodies ever again!" Jared shouted. 

 

Just then, Jensen came out onto the porch. "I can't believe that you just said that," he growled at his mother. "AIDS is not a punishment from God for being gay, you are such a..." Jensen stopped talking when Jared started to walk away. "Where are you going, baby?" Jensen asked him.

 

"For a walk. I suddenly feel sickened by my company," he said, looking pointedly at Donna with disgust.

 

Jensen watched him go just as his father was coming out onto the porch. "Great Mom! Just fucking great. Way to go!"

 

"What's going on?" Alan asked.

 

"Ask her. I'm going after my husband..." Jensen said, turning toward the door. His world stopped when he heard the sound of screeching tires, a loud thud and breaking glass, followed by more screeching tires. "JARED!" he screamed out. He ran through the house and out the front door, not even aware of what he was doing at first.

 

There, lying in the street, was Jared: battered, bruised and very broken-looking. "God - NO!" Jensen sobbed, running up beside him. "Jared?" he said, looking down at his bloodied body. "Oh God," he gasped. 

 

One of Jared's legs was bent at a very unnatural angle, and his head had a gaping wound that was bleeding profusely on the side. His arm was also bleeding freely and a bone looked to be protruding from the skin. His bare torso was torn and shredded from the pavement beneath him.

 

Alan reached his son's side and was on the phone in an instant. "Yes, I need an ambulance at 1424 West Liberty Way. My son-in-law has been hit by a car."

 

Jensen pulled off his t-shirt and pressed it against Jared’s head wound to stop the bleeding. Tears were freely flowing down his face as he looked at his father. "Is he breathing Dad?" he asked.

 

Sherri and Jerry were running across the yard, followed closely by Megan and Mackenzie. Sherri was screaming the cry that only a mother could produce when one of her children was hurt; it was a terrible and heart-wrenching sound. 

 

"My God," Jerry gasped, holding his wife close.

 

Jared gasped, his eyes opening wide in shocked horror, mixed with pain. "Jen," he sputtered and coughed, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.

 

Jensen leaned down. "Hey baby," he said quietly. "Don't move, ok? Dad's called an ambulance. You just stay still and don't worry. You're gonna be fine, baby." Tears continued to trickle down his face, but he didn’t even feel them.

 

"Don't..." Jared coughed more blood. "Don't think so."

 

"Don't talk like that, you're gonna be fine." Jensen nodded vigorously.

 

"I - I love you," Jared whispered as his head started to fall to the side, his eyes slipping shut.

 

"Jared!" Jensen shouted. "Jared?" 

 

Alan leaned over Jared's body. "Jensen, he's not breathing," he told him in a grave tone.

 

Jensen moved over to Jared's side. "Hold this," he said, motioning to the shirt that was pressed against Jared's scalp. Jensen made sure that Jared's airway was clear, then tilted his head back and gave two breaths, relieved to see Jared's chest rise and fall. He then positioned his hands in the center of Jared's chest and started compressions.

 

The next several minutes happened in a daze. The paramedics arrived and tried to get to Jared, but Jensen wouldn't move.

 

"Sir, I need you to move back," one of them told him.

 

"No, I can't stop," he rasped out. "He's not breathing!" 

 

"Sir, we can't do our job with you in the way, I need you to move back," he said calmly again.

 

Alan walked up behind his son and put his hand on his shoulder. "Jensen," he said. When Jensen didn't move, Alan wrapped his arms around him and physically restrained him, pulling him away from his husband so that the paramedics could work.

 

Jensen struggled at first, then collapsed back against his father. "Dad...." he whispered. Alan pulled him into his arms, and Jensen's defenses crumbled.

 

Megan was crying into Mackenzie's shoulders, Mackenzie holding her tight. "Shhhh, he'll be ok, I just know it!"

 

One of the paramedics was inserting a breathing tube as the other hooked him up to the heart defibrillator.

 

"He's asystole..."

 

Everyone jumped when the paramedic called clear and pressed the paddles, sending the electric jolt into Jared's body. Sherri gasped and sobbed hysterically when she saw her son's lifeless form jump from the jolt.

 

"No change," the man with the paddles said. "Charging three hundred," he added as the other medic continued pressing the bulb that was breathing air into his body.

 

"Clear!" he said again, sending another jolt. "We got him back," he pronounced with a smile.

 

When they finally loaded Jared into the back of the bus, Jensen headed to the back and placed one foot up on the edge to step inside. 

 

Donna took a cautious step toward her son and said "Jensen?" Her voice was low and shaky; she'd been crying.

 

Jensen didn't turn to look at her. He growled out "DON'T! Just don't..."

 

He stepped inside, the doors slamming shut behind him. The sirens blared through the neighborhood, swallowed by the darkness as it turned the corner, heading for the hospital.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

"There he is," Alan said as he took long, quick strides across the hospital ER waiting room. Jensen was sitting in one of the plastic chairs, elbows on his knees, his pajama bottoms still soaked in Jared's blood, his feet covered only in socks. The hospital had provided him with a green scrub top. He was staring straight ahead, seeing nothing.

 

"Jensen?" Mackenzie said as she touched Jensen's arm. "Dad, I think he's in shock or something. Do you think we should get a doctor?" she asked him.

 

"Let me try," Alan said. He sat down beside him. "Jensen,” he said, and lightly shook his son’s shoulder. 

 

Jensen blinked, then turned his head to look at Alan. "Dad, when did you get here?" 

 

"Just now, have you heard anything?"

 

Jensen nodded and cleared his throat. Jerry, Sherri and Megan were standing in front of him, all holding each other close. 

 

"They got him stabilized and took him up to surgery," Jensen started off quietly. "The ER doc came out and told me that he was bleeding internally, so they would have to do exploratory surgery to find where it was coming from. He said that his head wound is the biggest issue, they can fix his leg and arm, probably have to put a few metal plates in his leg, but at least it's not shattered. He said that his brain is swelling and if it doesn't go down, they'll have to operate there, too, to alleviate some of the pressure."

 

"Oh, God!" Sherri gasped and covered her mouth.

 

Jensen looked up at her...and then over to the person next to her. His eyes narrowed and he stood. "What are you doing here?" he spat. "You have NO right to come in here after what you did!" He didn’t care that he was yelling at his mother in front of everyone.

 

"Son," Alan started.

 

"No, Dad! NO! Jared is in here because of _her_!" Jensen yelled at him. "Or did you neglect to mention what happened that had Jared so upset that he left your house and wasn't paying attention to what he was doing? Just what it was that got him hit by the car?"

 

"Jensen, I'm so sor..." Donna tried to say.

 

"You don't get to be sorry!" Jensen said, walking right up into her personal space. "If he dies, it's because you killed him. He wouldn't have been out in that road if you hadn't told him that vile shit!"

 

"What did you say?" Sherri asked, stepping between them. "What on earth could you have possibly said that could have put my baby in such distress?" she growled.

 

"I - " Donna stammered. "They were down in the hot tub. I heard them..." Donna stopped talking a moment, her sobs escaping her wibbling lips. "Um, they had sex in there, and after I knew they were inside, I went down to drain the tub. Jared came out there and asked me what I was doing - and I, I told him that I wasn't letting anyone else in the house catch their disease."

 

"Disease? What on earth are you talking about?" Sherri frowned, stepping even closer.

 

"AIDS!" Jensen growled. "And no, before anyone wonders, neither of us has AIDS. We've only slept with each other." Then Jensen turned toward his mother, raising his eyebrows. "But that's not all you said, is it Mom?"

 

"No," she answered quietly.

 

"She told him that our kind were being punished, that it was God's way of killing us for choosing to live how we do."

 

Sherri raised her hand and smacked Donna across the face. Jerry pulled his wife back and into his arms. Donna's head swung to the side from the force of the blow. When she looked back, all the faces staring back at her were covered with disgust.

 

"Leave," Jensen told her. "And don't you ever come near me or my husband again. EVER! Do you understand me? I never want to see you again for the rest of my life...you're dead to me."

 

With that said, Jensen started to walk away. "I'm going up to the second floor surgical waiting room."

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen sat in silence and stared hard at the door. He wouldn't answer anyone when they talked to him, wouldn’t even acknowledge them. He would just stare at the door. Just sat there. Staring. For three hours.

 

Finally - _**finally**_ , a doctor wearing blue scrubs came into the room, and said, "Jared Padalecki?" 

 

Jensen stood and rushed forward. "Yes, how is he?"

 

The doctor looked around at all the people gathered. He sighed and looked down. "He's fighting very hard. The next forty-eight hours are critical."

 

"Meaning he could die?" Jensen asked in a strangled voice.

 

The doctor nodded. "First off, Jared is in a coma, which is expected with the injuries that he's sustained."

 

Sherri gasped and turned her body against her husband. Her shoulders shook as she started to cry. Jensen only swallowed and looked straight at the doctor.

 

"We went in to ascertain what was causing the bleeding. We discovered a tear in one of his kidneys and we had to remove his spleen. He had an open fracture in his leg, the femur was broken and protruding through the skin. We set the bone during surgery and then applied titanium plates directly to keep the bone in place while it heals. He also had an open fracture of the humerus, and a hairline fracture of the ulna. We set both during the surgery as well, and he now has a cast running the full length of his left arm to his wrist."

 

"What about his head injury?" Sherri asked.

 

"That's what has me worried. Jared sustained a severe blow to the head from the accident. His brain has continued to swell. We'll be monitoring him closely. If it continues, we have a neurosurgeon here ready to take him back to surgery to alleviate the pressure."

 

"What exactly would happen?" Megan asked, coming to stand next to her mother and leaning in close.

 

"With this type of swelling, it could easily be an epidural hematoma. If that's the case, blood can be aspirated surgically to remove the mass and reduce the pressure on the brain. The surgeon would perform a craniotomy, where he would drill a small hole in his skull to evacuate the blood."

 

"Can I see him?" Jensen asked suddenly.

 

"Are you his brother?"

 

"No sir, I'm his life partner."

 

The doctor looked down. "I'm sorry, only family is allowed in with him while he's in recovery, and only for a few minutes."

 

"We have shared our lives together for..." Jensen started, but was interrupted when Sherri stepped forward.

 

"Doctor, I know that this country doesn't accept unions as actual marriages and that you are only following the rules set by the hospital, but if Jared is going to recover from this, he needs Jensen. Tell them that he is his brother for Christ’s sake, I don't care. My son needs his husband...please."

 

"I'll see what I can do," he nodded and walked away.

 

 

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

Fifteen minutes later, the doctor was walking Jensen to the recovery room. "When you get in there, your're gonna see that he's pretty banged up, ok? But you also need to know that he has a cannula in his nose, a tube down his throat from the ventilator, a central line I.V. in his neck, another I.V. in his hand, his leg is in traction and in a soft cast at the moment and his head is bandaged."

 

Jensen nodded and entered the room behind the doctor. When he caught sight of Jared, the tears started to fall as if they had a mind of their own. It was probably the worst thing he’d ever seen in his life. The doctor rolled a small stool over beside the bed and gave him a sympathetic look. 

 

"You have five minutes, ok?"

 

Jensen sat down on the offered stool and nodded. "Thank you for letting me come down here."

 

"You're welcome. I know how I would feel if I wasn't allowed to see my partner and he was hurt, so - it's ok."

 

Jensen nodded once more, but then looked back at Jared. "Do you think he can hear me?"

 

"Yes. I personally think that coma patients can very much hear us. Talk to him. Let him know that you're here. It's ok to touch him," the doctor said. He picked up Jared's file that was at the end of the bed, and he began flipping through it.

 

"Hey baby," Jensen whispered slowly, feeling like there was so much he had to say, yet not enough time in the world to say it. "I'm here baby, waiting for you to wake up. You keep fighting Jared, do you hear me? You keep fighting. We were going to start our family, remember? I can't do that without you, so I need you to fight hard! Do you hear me, baby? Fight hard for us, for our son or daughter," Jensen said in a hushed, quiet tone. "Can you hear me Jared?" he asked, his voice shuddering.

 

Jensen sat bedside talking to Jared and telling him to fight over and over. He kept telling him that he couldn’t wait to start a family, how excited he was getting whenever he thought of them finally having a baby. He begged for his forgiveness for bringing him here to his parents, and for the things that his mother had said. Jensen pressed Jared’s hand to his face, his tears cascading down his lover's arm and soaking into the sheets around him.

 

A nurse stepped forward and told Jensen that his time was up, and that Jared would be moved to the ICU ward in about an hour. Jensen stood and nodded. He bent down and pressed a kiss to the corner of Jared's mouth.

 

"I love you," he whispered into his ear before he turned and walked away.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

As it turned out, the swelling in Jared's brain had started to go down on its own. Everyone was thrilled that he didn't have to have another surgery, and they all sat and waited for him to wake up.

 

On the third day of Jared's stay at the hospital, Jensen was ragged, worn and exhausted. He'd not slept for more than twenty minutes the whole time. He just sat bedside, talking to his husband and holding his hand whenever they would allow it. He refused to leave for more than a quick three-minute bathroom break, though, and he hadn't eaten since day two at breakfast time.

 

Alan urged Jensen to go home for a shower and change of clothes, to grab a real meal. This caused Jensen to lose his temper and snarl that Jared could wake up for just a second and what good would that do if he was gone. No one pressured Jensen after that other than to encourage him to eat, which he promptly refused.

 

 

~

 

 

"You remember our first fight, Jay?" Jensen asked him, pulling the chair closer to the bed. "Well, our first real fight," he added. Jensen shuddered at the thought of it. "God, it was horrible. We both were so stupid and such idiots." Jensen laughed a somewhat uncomfortable laugh. "You remember, we had just made love in my dorm room and you...."

 

 

Eight years ago

 

 

Jensen spooned up against Jared's back, their bodies sated and sweat sheened. He kissed the back of his neck. "I love you," he whispered into his ear.

 

Jared giggled and turned his head. "I love you, too."

 

They lay there in Jensen's room, thankful that his roommate was gone for the year already. Jensen only had one more final to take before he was off for his summer vacation. Jared was finished with high school; the only thing left was graduation.

 

"Mmmm, this is nice," Jensen purred into his ear.

 

"Yeah," Jared said, linking their fingers together and pulling Jensen's hand up toward his chin.

 

"So, we gonna talk about it?" Jensen asked him. "Have you decided?"

 

Jared sighed. He'd decided three months ago on which college he'd wanted to go to, but he'd not told Jensen yet. He knew that they'd end up in a huge fight. They'd argued when Jared had just applied to USC.

 

"I'm going to USC," he said. He felt Jensen shift behind him, starting to pull away. "Jen, don't."

 

"Don't what, Jared?" he sighed. "You're fucking leaving me to go to California - what am I supposed to do or think?"

 

Jared turned over and faced his boyfriend. "Jen, you'll graduate in two years, and then you can come out there. You're going to be a teacher; you can get a job anywhere."

 

Jensen shook his head and turned over on his back. Jared laid his arm across Jensen's stomach. "Come on, this doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe you can transfer," Jared added.

 

Jensen turned his head and looked at him. "You being gone is a bad thing, Jared. And I can't transfer, my scholarship is for here, not USC," Jensen growled. "Two years Jared, we won't see each other for two fucking years!"

 

"Yes we will, we'll have Christmas break, and spring break - "

 

Jensen snorted in disbelief. "Yeah, like you'd actually leave the sunny fucking shores of California when you could lounge on the beach instead of coming to Texas."

 

Jared sighed. "Why are you being like this? I just - I can't believe you don't understand. I need to leave here, Jensen. I've never been out of the fucking state. I'm only seventeen years old. I want to get out there and experience my life without living under my parent’s roof - and you know that I don't want to live here forever. And it's a full ride to USC, Jen. Do you know how many people get that?"

 

"You can get a full ride at a Law school here, Jared," Jensen said quietly, scooting even closer to the edge of the bed.

 

"I seem to remember being away from you for two years while you were in a boarding school," Jared said flatly.

 

Jensen sat up and shifted so that he was looking at Jared. "My parents sent me away, what did you think I was gonna do, tell them to fuck off when I was sixteen years old, no money - nothing? Huh? Is this why you're going to California, some sort of payback?" he snarled as he got out of bed and stepped into his jeans. "Because if it is, that's pretty fucking low! I didn't have a choice, Jared. I had to go - I had no choice in the matter! You're choosing to leave me!" Jensen said, punctuating his words by pointing in Jared's face.

 

Jared batted Jensen's finger away, his own anger rising. "Don't stick your finger in my face, you're not my fucking father!" he snapped, getting up and pulling on his own clothes. "This is un-fucking-believable. I need you to support me on this. Do you think that it was easy to come to this decision, Jen? Huh? Do you? Because it wasn't. It was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. But I feel like I'm drowning here. I have to go, Jen. I have to."

 

Jensen scoffed and shook his head slightly. "Sorry that I smother you so much. Go, have fun in California, Jared. I guess I'll see you someday..." Jensen said, after pulling on his t-shirt. He opened the door and made to go out into the hall.

 

"Jensen...are you breaking up with me?"

 

"If I'm not worth staying for - then you're not worth waiting for." With that said, Jensen stormed away.

 

 

~

 

Jared walked inside his home and up the stairs in long strides. After shutting and locking his door, he collapsed on his bed. His eyes were stinging with unshed tears. It was over. Jensen had broken up with him. 

 

His lungs started to hurt as his breath started to hitch. He gasped and clutched at his chest, the pain rising with the quick, short breaths he was taking. He was overcome with the feelings of loss, pain, and aloneness. He fell to his knees and tried to suck in a deep breath, but only managed a slight intake of the life-giving air surrounding him.

 

Dizzy, Jared managed to stand. He made his way to the bedroom door, opened it and he was able to bark out a 'Mom' before his body crashed to the floor.

 

 

~

 

 

"He's coming around," an unfamiliar voice said. "Jared, can you hear me?" the person asked. 

 

Jared flinched when a bright light shined into his eyes - first the left, then the right. "Yeah, get that light outta my fucking face," Jared groaned.

 

"Jared Tristan Padalecki!" his mother scolded.

 

Jared sat up, confused and looking around. "Sorry, Momma." As Jared's eyes came into focus, he realized that he was laying in the middle of the hallway in his house, just in front of his bedroom door.

 

"I think that he'll be ok. I'd say that he had a panic attack," the paramedic said. "We should still take him to the hospital and have him evaluated, just to make sure."

 

Jared jumped up to his feet. "No! Mom, I'm fine. I was just...I don't wanna talk about it, but I'm fine. If you try to take me, I swear that I'll jump out of the ambulance in transit if I have to..."

 

Sherri knew that her son wasn't kidding. "Jared," she said cautiously, "you fainted. You really should go."

 

"Mom, I'm fine. No. I don't wanna go."

 

Sherri sighed. "Ok," she nodded.

 

Sherri saw the paramedics out and nodded when they told her if he had any more problems she should bring him straight to the emergency room, and then came back upstairs to her son's room. 

 

"Jared?" she said slowly. "Baby? Do you want to talk about what's going on with you?" she asked as she sat down on his bed.

 

"Go away..." Jared said in a strangled voice.

 

Sherri laid her hand on Jared's side. "Talk to me baby, maybe I can help."

 

"You can't."

 

"You and Jensen have a fight?" she asked him softly.

 

Jared started to cry, his body beginning to shake. He hated to cry like this, but he felt like his world had shattered. "He-he-" Jared started. "He broke up with me."

 

Sherri couldn't believe her ears. "Why?"

 

"Because I'm going to California. He said..." Jared snuffled, wiping his running nose against the pillow. "He said that if he wasn't worth me staying here for, then I wasn't worth him waiting for."

 

"Oh baby...he's just mad. I'm sure that he didn't mean it."

 

"How do you know that?" Jared asked. "God Mom, I don't know what to do. We've been Jared and Jensen for so long, I don't know how to be just Jared. I can't be just me. I need him."

 

"Give him some time, baby. I'm sure that he'll come around. He loves you. I know that more than anything in this world. Just give him a few days...I know that he'll realize that he's wrong."

 

"What if he doesn't?" Jared asked, sitting up and swiping at his eyes. "What if he never talks to me again?"

 

"What exactly happened?" she asked.

 

"I told him that I had to go. That I didn't want to live here forever and that it was only two years. He got all pissy with me, and I brought up the fact that we were apart for two years when he was in Colorado. He got really pissed off and said that it wasn't his choice, but that I did have the choice to leave him. What if he's right?"

 

Sherri smiled. "Jared, do you love him?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then that's all that matters. He loves you, too. Jensen will realize that he's got to let you do this. He'll realize that he was being unreasonable and he'll call you or come here. I just know it."

 

"What if he doesn’t?" Jared said looking down. "Mom, I can't live without him. I can't."

 

"It won't come to that, baby. I know you both. You two are my babies. I've known you both your whole lives, and I know that you two are..."

 

"Crazy?" Jared asked.

 

"Forever destined," she answered.

 

Jared snorted. Leave it to his mother to say something like that. "I'm tired," he said, burying his face in his pillow.

 

Sherri leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his face. "Ok, get some rest."

 

 

~

 

Two days later, Jared was still laying in bed. He'd only been out of bed to go to the bathroom and he hadn't eaten one single bite of food. Jensen hadn't returned any of his phone calls.

 

Sherri opened his bedroom door and walked in. She sighed at the uneaten plate of food on his floor, and she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Jared, you have to eat something."

 

"Not hungry," he said and rolled over. 

 

Sherri knew that this was the end of the conversation. It had happened all day the day before and twice already today. She simply picked up the plate and left the room.

 

 

~

 

Sherri had to threaten Jared that she would pick him up and bathe him herself if need be to finally get him out of bed, showered, changed, and ready for graduation. He sat silently in the backseat of the car on the way to the school. Sat and ignored all of his friends and classmates as they happily talked about their futures, college, and to them - the most important thing, partying that night.

 

Jared stood when his row was supposed to stand and he walked to the small stage. When his name was announced, he walked up the steps, shook hands with the principal and took his diploma. He took the first step off of the stage, looking down. On the second step, he looked up and saw Jensen standing close to the doors. Jared gasped and ran down the last few stairs.

 

"Jen!" he gasped, thudding right into Jensen's body and hugging him tight. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll stay here. I don't have to go to California. I'll do anything," Jared said, his mouth kissing at Jensen's neck through everything.

 

Jensen pulled from the hug. "No, Jared, I want you to go to California. You need to go. I'm sorry, too."

 

Jared looked at him with a frown on his face. "If it's between you and California, I choose you."

 

Jensen smiled. "Well, you see, I called UCLA and talked with their counselors there. If I agree to teach in an inner-city school for four years, they'll pay for everything - for the rest of my schooling. Everything, Jay. Books, dorm, everything. I'll only have to get a part time job - and mpthhhf..." Jensen gasped as his words were cut off by Jared's mouth descending on him.

 

"I take it you like that idea?" Jensen asked as he pulled away.

 

"Yeah, I love it..."

 

 

Back to present

 

 

"Remember that Jared? You gotta wake up for me. I want more of that. I want the happy times, the quiet times, hell - I want you to wake up so we can fight some more, cause the make up sex..." Jensen snorted humorlessly. "Can you hear me, Jared?" Jensen picked up Jared's hand and held it in his own. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, baby."

 

Jensen gasped as Jared's hand suddenly tightened. He tried to not get overly-excited; the doctor had told him that it would be most likely a reflex if Jared did something like that. But there wasn't anything wrong with allowing a flower of hope to bloom in his chest.

 

"I know you can hear me, Jared. You need to open your eyes."

 

~

 

Jensen had fallen asleep, his hand still firmly wrapped around Jared's huge paw, their fingers interlaced. Sherri had snuck in and covered Jensen with a blanket and she kissed him gently on the forehead. Then, bending over Jared, she did the same to him. She whispered an 'I love you' to both her boys and then headed out to their hotel for the night, as Jensen refused to leave, and in the ICU they only allowed one guest at a time. Not that Jensen didn't allow Jared's family time alone to come in and see him or talk to him, but it wasn't usually very long before Jensen popped back in, looking worried and stressed at being away from him.

 

It was just after four A.M. when Jensen felt Jared's hand tighten around his own. He immediately sat up and leaned over Jared. His eyes were open. Jensen jumped up to his feet. "Jared?" he said uncertainly, looking down at him.

 

Jared's eyes shifted to look over at Jensen and Jensen smiled even bigger. "Hey babe, do you know where you are?" he asked, thankful that the breathing tube had been removed earlier that same day when the doctor tested to see if Jared could breathe on his own.

 

Jared opened his mouth to say something. His lips sputtered and he fought to say a word, but was not able to. He made a "ffff" sound followed by a frustrated whimper, and his eyes filled with tears.

 

"Shhhh," Jensen soothed and bent down to kiss Jared softly. "It's ok. Don't try too hard, ok? Just relax. You're in the hospital, baby; you got hit by a car. Cops came by yesterday and told us that they still don't have any idea who hit you. Nobody saw anything, so they're hoping once you feel better, maybe you'll remember something," he said, and he caressed the side of his face. Jensen didn’t know why he was babbling all of that nonsense right when Jared woke up, but it was like he couldn’t control his mouth.

 

Jared started to spit and sputter again. He was trying to speak, but all that would come out were grunts and frustrated moans. "I'm gonna go get the doctor, baby," Jensen said. "I’ll be right back." Jared only closed his eyes and let his head fall to the side as more tears fell down his cheeks.

 

 

~

 

 

Close to two hours later, the doctor came out of Jared's room and looked at the eyes of the hopeful family staring back at him. "Bernice," he said to a middle-aged nurse, "I'll be in the conference room with the Padalecki family if I'm needed."

 

Jensen started to protest that he didn't want to leave Jared, but the doctor held up his hands. "He's asleep, and we need to talk." 

 

Jensen nodded and followed him into the room down the hall from the ICU.

 

Once they were all seated, the doctor opened a file and stared down into it. "Jared is suffering from cognitive and communicative disorder."

 

"What's that?" Megan asked, tightening her hold on Jensen's hand. "And is it permanent?"

 

"Cognitive and communicative problems that result from traumatic brain injury vary. They can be moderate to severe. The effects of the brain damage are greatest following the injury. The injured brain suffers temporary damage from swelling, which Jared did suffer, and contusions. Those types of injuries are not permanent and everything will go back to normal once the swelling and bruising go away. So as you can see, it's difficult to predict the extent of long-term damage right now, as more serious cases have more than moderate damage."

 

"Hooo-" Jensen's voice broke. He cleared his throat and asked "how long till you know if there are any lasting effects?"

 

"Usually in a few weeks," the doctor answered. "I only had a short time with Jared before he was exhausted. We'll have more time tomorrow after he rests a bit."

 

“So is he brain-damaged, like he won’t be able to function or take care of himself?” Jerry asked in a choked voice.

 

“No, I would say that with Jared, he’s in there. He is still himself, but he can’t make his body move how he wants it to move, he can’t form the words that he’s trying to form. You can see the frustration when he’s trying to speak. You need to understand that this disorder isn’t the same thing as regular brain damage where a person is learning impaired for the rest of their lives.”

 

“If there are lasting effects, what can we expect?” Sherri asked.

 

“Well, cognitive impairments can include difficulty organizing thoughts, concentrating, forgetfulness, trouble learning new information, having problems in social situations where they say things or sometimes do things that are inappropriate. But again, I don’t think that Jared will suffer long term. It may take only a few months for everything to work out, but I think that he'll make a full recovery and…”

 

“You said that you didn’t spend enough time with him to determine that,” Jensen said with a frown, interrupting him.

 

“I realize that to you, I may be talking in circles. I personally don’t think that Jared will have any long term effects from the brain injury, but I can’t be one hundred percent sure until I’m able to do further testing. He’s responsive to questions I ask, and he was able to squeeze my hand on command. I personally think that he’ll make a full recovery, I’m just not sure of the time frame. It could go completely away once the swelling has fully gone down, but it could take longer. We won’t be completely sure until he’s fully assessed. We’ll have a number of doctors that will be involved in this. I, for one, a neurologist to see if there is anything affecting his nervous system, a speech-language pathologist may be needed in the future if his speech does not improve. They’ll do tests to evaluate his cognitive and communication skills. We may have to have him see a neuropsychologist to assess his behavioral abilities. Eventually, if things are worse than I expect them to be, he may need to see an occupational therapist to assess cognitive skills related to his ability to perform daily activities such getting dressed by himself to making dinner.”

 

“That won’t be necessary. If he can’t dress himself, I’ll dress him. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

 

“Mr. Ackles, I don’t think that you understand the possibility of what his problems could be. He may need full time care if the injury is worse than I expect. He would fare much better in a home that…”

 

Jensen jumped to his feet almost violently. “I will NOT put him in a home. We took our vows to each other - for better or worse. Period. He’ll come home with me and I’ll take care of him. End of discussion,” Jensen snapped. He looked at all of the stunned faces around the table and shook his head. “I’m going back to my husband if you need me.” With that, Jensen left the room, slamming the door behind him when he left.

 

Jensen returned to Jared’s room and he sat down in the chair he’d made his, throwing the blanket over his legs. He was fuming. How dare that doctor tell him that it was better to put Jared in a home? Jensen wouldn’t EVER do that…he wouldn’t care if he had to toilet and clean him, bathe him and feed him or whatever for the rest of their lives. He loved Jared and he wouldn’t ever, ever do anything like that.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

A week had passed and Jared showed little improvement. He had been moved into a regular room in the hospital, and the doctors had continued to take him daily for more tests. There were more doctors who tried to assess the severity of Jared's injuries, and every time he got back to his room, Jared would be so frustrated that he'd be in tears.

 

Jensen would always use the time Jared was away to be on his laptop researching cognitive and communicative disorders. He'd even found a website from overseas where a doctor had worked one on one with a severely brain damaged man, and through simple daily activities, he'd managed to make a miraculous recovery. Jensen decided then and there that he was going to start his own therapy with Jared.

 

"Hey baby," he smiled as Jared was wheeled into his room. Jensen could see the look of exhaustion and frustration on Jared's face and there were tear-stains down his cheeks. "I got him," he told the orderly. Jensen walked up in front of the wheelchair and put Jared's arms around his neck, grasping Jared around the waist gently. He was careful to be mindful of his incision, the cast on his arm, and the soft cast on his leg. "Up ya go," he said, hefting him out of the chair. "Hey Jay, try to stand for me, k?"

 

"J-j-j-j," Jared gasped, scared and beyond. 

 

"It's ok Jared, I won't let you fall. Can you just try?"

 

Jared had made a lot of progress as far as Jensen was concerned. He could make J sounds for Jensen, N sounds for no and would blink once for yes. His hands were working slightly better too, but Jensen didn't think that the hospital saw that as progression. Boy was he going to prove them wrong.

 

Jared managed to stand for a bit before his legs started to wobble slightly and Jensen grabbed him and set him down on the bed. "That's awesome Jay, you stood completely on your own for a minute," Jensen said with a smile. "I told you!" 

 

But Jared didn't look pleased. He looked pissed off.

 

"I love you," Jensen said, and lightly touched his face.

 

Jared managed to move his arm in an attempt to knock Jensen's hand away. "N-n-n-n!"

 

Jensen grasped him firmly by the face and made Jared look at him. "YES!" he said rather harshly. "I love you. Nothing will ever change that. For better or worse, Jared; I took those vows and I fucking meant them! If this were me, if I were the one in your situation, would you leave me?"

 

"N -n," Jared sputtered.

 

"Right. And why is that? Because you love me, and I love you, so you're just gonna have to deal with me pushing you and pushing you to get better, because I know that you can. I know how fucking stubborn you are once you've made up your mind about something. So the sooner you accept that I'm gonna be riding your ass, the easier things will be, got it?"

 

Jared snotted out a laugh. Jensen giggled and grabbed a tissue and wiped off his nose. 

 

"Dirty mind!!" he joked. He was relieved to see the corners of Jared's mouth forming a smile. Jensen bent in and kissed him. "I love you," he told him again.

 

"L-you," Jared gasped.

 

"Hey, look at that! You said you!" 

 

Jared rolled his eyes.

 

Jensen chuckled and thought, yeah - he’s gonna be just fine! He got Jared settled on the bed and covered him up and then sat on the edge. He picked up Jared’s hand and pressed their palms together, then did the same with the other hand. “K baby, I wanna see if you can push your hands against mine. Will you try it?”

 

Jared blinked his eyes and pushed with all his might. Jensen smiled when he felt a slight amount of pressure against his hands. Jared gasped with the effort to push harder and let out a frustrated wail, before he flopped back on the bed.

 

"Hey, hey," Jensen said, "don't get upset, Jared. A few days ago, you couldn't move your arms hardly at all, and look what you did today. You stood up, you managed to hold your arms up for a long period of time and push against me. That's awesome, baby. It really is," he smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

 

"St...stp!" Jared said, turning his head away.

 

"Stop?" Jensen asked him.

 

Jared nodded. NODDED.

 

Jensen smiled. He knew that Jared didn't even realize that he'd made the movement, and wasn't going to allow the fact that Jared didn't want him to kiss him ruin the fact that he did it.

 

"Ok, I'm sorry," Jensen comforted him, then rubbed his hand along his thigh. "Do you want to try some other stuff?"

 

"N-n-n!"

 

"Ok, maybe tomorrow?" 

 

Jared only sighed and continued to look away.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Another week had passed, and Jared was improving slowly. But it was still improvement. He'd refused to work with the doctors and most of the time with Jensen. A few days earlier, Jensen had put a button down shirt on him and buttoned all the buttons and told Jared to try and unbutton them. He'd gotten so frustrated that he tried to get out of bed, fell and busted his arm on the floor before Jensen had caught him. After that, he fell into a deep depression. He rarely ate, and he became almost non-responsive, even with Jensen.

 

"I don't know what to do," Jensen sighed, talking to Sherri. "He's refusing to try anymore. If he gives up, he'll never get any better, ya know?"

 

"Yeah, I know. But Jensen, you have to be tough on him. Don't take his crap. You're the only person that can push him. Because he loves you," she said, covering Jensen's hand with her own. "I know that it'll be hard, but you have to be tough with him. Piss him off, yell at him. It's the only thing that's gonna work."

 

Jensen sighed again. "I know. I just - " Jensen took a deep breath, " - don't know if I can be that mean to him. I know that's what it's going to take, but actually doing it..."

 

"I know, baby, I know."

 

"When are you two going back?" 

 

"Tonight. We hate that we can only come up on the weekends, but with Jerry's job - and I just can't keep spending all this money on hotels."

 

"Yeah, I don't know what I'd do if the hospital threw me out. They've all been really great." Jensen hesitated. "I'm thinking about telling them I want Jared released. I think that he'll do better once we're home."

 

Sherri smiled. "I think so, too. What are you going to do if he's not better by the time school starts?"

 

"Well, I've already spoken to my boss. He said that they'll get a substitute teacher to cover my classes. I have quite a bit of vacation saved up. You know Jared, typical lawyer, he never takes time off, and I don't want to do it alone, so I can use that. Once it's gone, I'll have to take a leave of absence. My boss said that I have nothing to worry about, that my job is secure, so that's good. And I spoke to Jared's boss, Dave; he's completely understanding, and they're giving Jared paid leave. I don't know what we'd do if it wasn't paid. I mean, we have some savings, but it's not huge. Not after buying that house, that down payment we put on the thing was enormous," he laughed humorlessly. 

 

"If you two need money, don't you hesitate to ask. I know you'd never just take it, so you can pay it back when Jared is better - but I'm serious, if you need it..."

 

Jensen leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I know. Thank you."

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen spoke to Jared's doctors and told them that he was leaving on Saturday with Jared, with or without their approval. The doctors didn't like it, but agreed to release him, seeing as Jared wasn't getting any worse. However, they gave Jensen a huge list of doctors to see in California as soon as they were home and they made an appointment for Jensen and Jared with the hospital’s physical therapist so that he could show Jensen how to work Jared’s muscles properly for his daily exercises.

 

Then Jensen was off to tell Jared. He only hoped that he took the news well.

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen walked into the room and found Jared staring off in the general direction of the window. "Hey babe," he said. Jared ignored him. "I - uh, I have some news. You're getting out of this popsicle stand! We're leaving on Saturday to go home. I've got a nice-sized, comfortable car in mind to rent for the drive home. What do you think?"

 

Jared shrugged.

 

"Ok, that's it!" Jensen snapped and walked to the door. He slammed it shut. "I'm getting sick of your shit! I realize that this all must suck. It must suck really hard, but you know what? Suck. It. Up. You can't change it, Jared. As much as I wish that I could go back in time and change it, I can't. So I need to know right now, are you just gonna lay there and ignore me for the rest of your life or are you going to fight to get your life back?"

 

Jared didn't move, he just kept staring out the window. Jensen took three steps to the bedside and yanked Jared's face up to look at him. 

 

"Jared! I'm talking to you. Are you going to sit and have continuous pity parties, or are you going to fight this?"

 

Jared tried to pull his face away, but Jensen's strength was far greater. Jared's eyes started to fill with tears and it took everything inside of Jensen to stand his ground and not pull him into a hug.

 

"W-wisss," Jared stuttered, "dead," he gasped.

 

Jensen felt his resolve start to crumble. "Well, I don't wish that you were dead. I need you. If you died, I would, too. I can't live without you, so you need to crawl out of this depression and fight. Fight for it, Jared. It's the only way that you're going to change it. I'll be here with you every step of the way, but I can't make you do it. You have to want to."

 

Jared nodded and leaned forward. Jensen sat down on the bed and pulled him into a hug and just let him cry.

 

After a good twenty minutes, Jared haphazardly swiped at his eyes with his fist and tried to say something. He kept pushing and pushing out breaths of air, trying to talk, but the words wouldn't form. Finally in a frustrated forced breath, he spit out "Pencil!"

 

Jensen looked at him. Today was the first time since he said 'you' that he'd said any full words. Today it was 'dead' and 'pencil'. "Do you want a pencil?"

 

Jared said "N-n-n," and shook his head.

 

"Ok, try again."

 

Jared just flopped back on the bed and looked outside. He lifted his arm toward the window.

 

"You want to go outside?" Jensen smiled. Jensen had been trying and trying to get Jared to go outside, and he adamantly refused time and again. Jensen's smile broadened when Jared nodded.

 

"Ok, do you want your robe, or do you want me to put you in your jogging pants and t-shirt?"

 

Jared shook his head and pulled at his hospital gown and shook his head. Jensen knew his answer. "Ok," he said. He walked over to the small duffel bag and pulled out an old Van Halen t-shirt and a pair of black jogging pants. 

 

After he'd changed Jared's clothes, he got him into the wheelchair and was headed to the outside world. Jensen was so relieved to see that Jared was excited to go outside. He had hoped against hope that he'd cave sooner or later and desire to be outside of the hospital...he only hoped that he'd be as cooperative on the long ride home. A pissed off and uncooperative Jared Padalecki on a twenty-one hour plus drive would not be fun. Jensen would much rather have flown, but a doctor squashed that idea when he told him the cabin pressure wouldn't be good on Jared's recent incision.

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen pushed the wheelchair out into the arboretum. Jared seemed to be enjoying himself since he had let his head fall back and closed his eyes as if her were soaking up the bright Texas sun.

 

"Your mom had to leave without saying good-bye properly. She told me to tell you that she loves you."

 

The corner of Jared's mouth curved up in a smile and he made a quick movement of his head, resembling a nod.

 

"Jay?" Jensen said.

 

Jared turned and looked at him.

 

"Do you remember anything from the accident? Like the make or model of the car? Or the color? Anything?"

 

Jared closed his eyes and shook his head. He wasn’t quite ready to try and communicate what he saw. He had to be sure before he even considered giving any kind of statement to the police.

 

Jensen decided that he’d let it go for now.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

 

The Sunday after they left Dallas, Jensen decided that Jared Padalecki was an asshole. No, wait, worse than an asshole. He was a butt hair.

 

He wouldn't allow Jensen to stop at an actual restaurant. Only fast food places - and only the drive-thrus at that. Jared would go stiff as a board whenever Jensen would try to remove him from the car at a regular restaurant and actually think that he was taking him inside. It was bad enough, in Jared's mind, that he had to allow Jensen to take him into a public restroom and toilet him, clean him and everything...he would roast in hell before he would allow Jensen to feed him in public. He'd rather starve.

 

But, of course, Jensen couldn't understand this. He didn't know why Jared was being so unreasonable. He only griped and complained that he was tired of Taco Bell, McDonald's and KFC by the end of the second day, and really tired of eating in the car.

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen left the car running and ran inside to get a room for the night. The doctor had suggested to Jensen that he not keep Jared cooped up in the car for longer than eight to ten hours or his muscles would atrophy. 

 

Jensen had already been working Jared’s muscles by laying him on his back and taking hold of his leg behind his knee and working the muscles and joints with leg lifts, then he would work Jared’s arms, even though he was getting more and more mobility in them as the days went by. Then he would end the session with a nice massage to keep the muscles loose.

 

When Jensen got back in the car, Jared was leaning against the door, his forehead pressed against the glass, his stare vacant and distant.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jensen asked him. Jared ignored him. Jensen only sighed and pulled the car back to their room. Once inside, Jensen looked at him and asked “Are you tired?” 

 

Jared shook his head.

 

“Hungry?” he asked. Jared again shook his head. “Ok, well let’s get you on the bed and do your exercises then.”

 

“N - no!” Jared said firmly. 

 

It took everything inside Jensen not to jump up and whoop because Jared had said another word. He only looked at him and calmly asked “Why not?”

 

Jared just shook his head and looked away. Jensen walked over to him and squatted down in front of his wheelchair. “Jay, listen to me. I’m sorry that you’re miserable. I’d do anything to help you, but I don’t know what to do. I understand that you’re going to have good days and bad days, but you cannot let your fear that someone will stare at you make you not want to go outside. I don’t give a fuck what someone thinks. I know that I’m not the one in that chair, and I get that you’re embarrassed that you can’t feed yourself and other stuff, but you’ll get all that back. But you have to help me, baby. I can’t make you better on my own.”

 

Jensen waited for some sort of reaction from him, but when Jared only stared down at the floor, Jensen trudged on. 

 

“If you don’t want to go into an actual restaurant because I have to feed you at the moment, then fine, we’ll keep eating McDonald's or whatever. But I’m telling you, once we’re home, you’re not sitting in that house full time. I’m gonna take you out. I refuse to let you sit in there and rot. Now then, are you with me or what?”

 

Jared took a deep breath and blinked out a tear, before giving a small nod. Jensen lifted up and kissed Jared’s mouth. “Good, now stop being an ass to me, cause no matter how bad you treat me, I’m not going anywhere, dude.”

 

Jared snorted, reached out and caressed the side of Jensen's cheek with the back of his hand. “L - you.”

 

“I love you, too. Now we’re gonna do your exercises, ok?”

 

Jared nodded.

 

An hour later, Jared was exhausted. Jensen had worked his legs and arms, then got out the small ankle weights that he’d had Alan pick up before they’d left town. Jensen wrapped the weight around Jared’s wrists, fastened the Velcro tight enough so that they didn't slip off and had him alternately lift his arms up and down. He smiled as he watched him. The look on Jared’s face was fixed. Determined. 

 

He gasped and huffed breaths out as he continued to work his arms himself. Then Jensen put their palms together and was pleased to see that Jared could actually hold the position and push against Jensen’s hands for close to five minutes before he let his arms fall. Jensen leaned forward. “That’s awesome, babe. You’re getting stronger every single day. You’ll be up and out of that chair before you know it!” Then he kissed him. “How about a bath? And you need a shave,” Jensen winked at him. 

 

Jared frowned at him and rubbed his hand across his gruff chin. Jensen was right, he needed a shave.

 

Jensen got him undressed from the waist up, Jared sitting in his chair in only his boxers, and he reached to get him out of the chair when Jared emphatically said “No.”

 

“Jay?” Jensen asked when he saw Jared trying to stand on his own. Jensen stepped forward when Jared’s hand slid on the wheelchair arm and his butt smacked back down onto the chair.

 

“No,” Jared said again. 

 

Jensen nodded and stepped back. His heart was thudding hard in his chest, he was sure that Jared could hear it pounding. Please God, please let him do this, it's a huge step in his recovery, and he needs it, he needs this morality boost, Jensen prayed. Several of the doctors told Jensen that Jared could improve literally overnight. That one minute he could be struggling for a word and the next minute say a complete sentence. They just couldn't be for certain how quickly he'd heal. Jensen held his breath as Jared struggled to get up and actually stand on his own. He was wobbly and unsteady, but he looked happy.

 

Jensen grinned at him.“You been holding out on me?” 

 

Jared reached out for Jensen, his arms starting to flail. Jensen held him around the waist with one arm and got his boxers down with the other hand and sat Jared on the towel that he’d placed on the side of the tub. He gently moved Jared’s legs over the edge of the tub and then lowered him into the water. Jared groaned at the feeling of the warm water against his muscles.

 

“Feel good?”

 

“Mmmm,” Jared moaned again. Jensen chuckled and stuck the washcloth down in the water and soaped it up. He lovingly and gently cleaned Jared’s body from head to toe. There was a small incident of shampoo in the eye, but Jared had unintentionally opened his eyes when Jensen poured water over his head. But they managed through it just fine.

 

It was a little harder to get Jared out of the tub than it was to get him in it, but Jensen managed. After getting him dressed in sweats and t-shirt, Jensen got him back into his wheelchair, sat down on the toilet lid and pulled Jared close. 

 

Jensen shook the can of shaving cream and swiped the white foam across Jared’s face and chin. He swished the razor in the water and tapped it on the towel that sat on his legs, then reached up and gently pulled the razor down Jared’s face.

 

Jensen’s brow was wrinkled and his bottom lip was caught between his teeth. Jared smiled slightly because he knew that Jensen was concentrating deeply so as to not accidentally cut him. Jensen noticed that Jared was squirming in the seat somewhat. 

 

"Did I hurt you?" he asked looking concerned. 

 

"N-no," Jared said, shaking his head and he moved his hands into his lap.

 

Jensen chuckled. "Is this turning you on? Me shaving you?" he joked as his mischievous eyes met Jared's.

 

Jared snorted and his cheeks began to turn red. 

 

"It is, isn't it? Lemme see," Jensen said, moving Jared's hand away from his crotch. Jensen grinned when he saw the tent in his boxers. "Hell baby, you shoulda said something to me a long time ago," Jensen said as he slid the razor down his face. "I'd have been shaving you all along."

 

"S-sh-shut it!" Jared said, his smile wide and eyes sparkling.

 

"There you are," Jensen whispered. He took another washcloth and ran it under the warm water, rung it out and wiped the excess shaving cream from Jared's face. Jensen felt his own eyes tearing up as he looked into Jared's. He really was back, he was gonna fight tooth and nail, and he was going to get better.

 

 

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

_Two weeks later_

 

 

Jensen wheeled Jared across the parking lot toward their SUV. Jared had just gotten the staples out from his surgery and had the cast removed from his arm, but he still had to wear the soft cast on his leg. The air was warm, the sun shone down on their bodies. Jared had his eyes closed, his head leaned back against Jensen's stomach. 

 

"How's it feel to get those staples out?"

 

"Good. N-no more p-pulling," Jared answered.

 

"I bet. Remember that time I had staples in my leg from falling down the bleachers at school? Man those things hurt like a bitch. I can't imagine how they feel in your stomach."

 

Jensen wheeled up to the car and Jared stood up on his own, well not totally on his own, he used a cane to help keep his balance for the time being, and he got into the car, albeit slowly, but still without Jensen’s assistance. He was regaining strength rapidly. He still had trouble walking long distances and trouble getting words to form, but he was talking in full sentences now, and could walk short distances with the aid of the cane, not having to rely on the wheelchair.

 

The neurologist that they saw when they first got back to California had concurred with the doctors in Dallas. Jared would continue to improve and would more than likely gain one hundred percent of his mobility and speech back. There could be some underlying issues that may or may not rear their ugly heads from time-to-time, such as not being able to think of a certain word and having to resort to describing it. But for the most part, Jared was going to be fine.

 

Jensen was also pleased that Jared agreed to speak to a psychiatrist about the accident. He’d been keeping it all bottled up inside himself. Jensen had tried to get Jared to talk to him about the accident several times, but he'd refused, saying that he knew that it would just upset him. So when Jensen asked him to at least find someone that he could talk to about it rather than keeping it all bottled up inside, Jared agreed to go to a psychiatrist.

 

After his speech had improved, Jared called and gave a description of the car that had hit him in a phone interview with the Dallas PD, and two days prior to Jared having his staples out, they’d called back and said that they’d found the man that had hit him.

 

He’d been arrested several times in the past for DUI’s. After he was arrested for the hit and run involving Jared, the man caved and confessed that he had in fact been drinking that night and admitted that he’d left the scene because of the alcohol in his system during his questioning. He had taken a lesser sentence deal from the DA and avoided court all together, but would serve jail time.

 

Jared was relieved that he didn’t need to return to Dallas for any court or pressing of charges. Jensen, however, was pissed that all the man got was six years. He wanted him buried under the jail. But Jared assured him that he was happy about getting another drunk off the streets and hoped that when he got out and he reported to the half-way house that he would stay sober and not hurt anyone else.

 

 

~

 

 

"I was thinking that we could go to the park today? What do you think?"

 

"Sure," Jared said.

 

"Hmm, is that Jared-speak for 'I don't really want to go to the park, but I will because I think that you want to'?" Jensen asked. “Or do you really want to go?”

 

Jared only shrugged. 

 

"Jay, it's fine. If you don't want to go to the park, I want you to say so. I want you to let me know, baby."

 

"I wanna go home. Tired, and to b-be honest, I'd like to take a n-nap. Maybe we can go to the park later?" Jared said in the form of a question more than a statement.

 

"Sure," Jensen said as he reached over and grasped Jared's hand. He pulled it over to his lips and kissed it.

 

 

~

 

 

When they got home, Jensen walked to the back of the SUV and pulled out the wheelchair, opening it up in case Jared needed to sit. He walked behind his husband all the way to the door. 

 

"You ok?" Jensen asked.

 

"I'm good."

 

They got inside and Jensen pushed the chair over to the corner. He shut the door and turned. “I think I’ll take a nap with you if you’d like the company.” Jensen smiled.

 

Jared slid his hands around Jensen’s waist and pressed their bodies together. He started to sway back and forth lightly. “That’d be nice,” he whispered against Jensen’s neck.

 

Jensen pressed his lips to Jared’s neck and kissed him, then Jensen’s body started to shiver and shake.

 

Jared wrapped his arms around him. “Hey - what’s this ab-abo-about?” Jared asked.

 

Jensen’s only response was to pull on him and hold him even closer. Jensen hadn’t truly broken down since he’d cried the night of Jared’s accident. But right at this moment, Jensen was overwhelmed with what he’d almost lost.

 

“Hey, I’m here Jen. I-I’m ok,” he whispered and pulled back slightly. Jared started to pet his face with quick kisses, his lips sliding against the tears glistening on Jensen’s cheeks. “We’re ok, I’m ok,” Jared breathed against his lips.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just…” Jensen answered quietly. “You’re finally better. You hardly stammer at all and you’re walking on your own for the most part. And…”

 

Jared chuckled. “That’d be a - a good thing, yeah?”

 

“Of course it is. I just...” Jensen shrugged. “I don’t know, it just hit me that I almost lost you.”

 

Jared took Jensen’s hand in his own and pulled him toward the stairs. “You’re exhausted, let’s get you to bed.”

 

Jensen allowed Jared to lead him to the stairs and they slowly climbed them, Jared taking his time. Jared pushed open the door and pulled Jensen inside before he embraced him. “I love you,” he said in Jensen’s ear.

 

“You’re going to make me cry again,” Jensen snuffled against his neck. “I’m sorry I acted like an idiot. I don’t know why I …”

 

“Shhh,” Jared soothed, and kissed him sweetly. “I unders-stand. I know how I would feel if I h-h-had almost lost you. But Jen, I’m ok. I’m not going anywhere. Ok?”

 

“I know. But it’s like, I’m afraid to let you out of my sight. Like something like this could happen again if I’m not with you.”

 

Jared knew that it was coming, knew that Jensen was going to start blaming himself. “You’re not blaming your..." Jared struggled a moment to try and finish the word, then he took a deep breath and said "yourself Jensen. I still could have gotten hit by that d-d-drunk d-driver even if you were out there with me. I wasn’t paying a-attention to what I was doing and he was trashed off his - his ass. I’m j-just glad that they got him off of the roads and he can’t hurt any-anyone else.”

 

“Yeah, I still can’t believe how many DUI’s he’s had and he was still out driving around drunk,” Jensen fumed.

 

“Come on,” Jared said as he pulled Jensen to the bed. “Sleep,” he smiled. Jensen shut up. He knew that Jared didn’t want to talk about him or the accident anymore.

 

They both pulled off their shoes, socks and jeans and crawled into bed. Jared spooned up behind Jensen, his arm slung low around Jensen's waist for safe-keeping. Jensen snuggled back against Jared's chest and closed his eyes when Jared pressed his lips to his neck and kissed.

 

"I m-missed this."

 

"I missed it, too," Jensen whispered.

 

Jared leaned even closer and pressed against Jensen's back. "I want to fuck you Jen," he nipped at his neck. Jensen's entire body shook with anticipation and excitement.

 

"It's too soon," Jensen said as he turned his head and took Jared's lips. "Too soon," he said again, but Jared bit down on his bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth.

 

"I l-l-love you, so fucking much," Jared said, releasing Jensen’s lip from his own mouth. "You're so fucking bea-utiful. I want to t-t-taste every inch of you, Jen. Remember you," he huffed against his neck. "Been so long."

 

Jensen let his head fall back against Jared's shoulder, and his body surged forward when Jared pushed the palm of his hand against the tent in his boxers. "Jay," he said weakly.

 

Jared slid his hand slowly up and down Jensen's growing erection. He slid his finger up and circled around Jensen's navel. "So beautiful," Jared huskily whispered into his ear. "Gonna make you c-c-ome hard," Jared stuttered against his ear, his lips sucking the lobe into his mouth, his tongue working and sliding against the soft skin.

 

Jared slid his hand lower, fingers skirting just under the elastic in his underwear. Jensen stretched his arm back, his hand sliding down through the curls of Jared's unruly hair. 

 

"Jay..."

 

Jared pushed his hand down further, his fingers sliding through the wiry curls around his lover’s cock. Jensen moaned when Jared's fingers slid along his velvet shaft. 

 

"Mmmm," Jared moaned against Jensen's neck. "Come on baby," he whispered.

 

Jensen's back arced as his head pressed back against Jared's shoulder. "Jay," he whimpered. Jared tightened his hand around Jensen's cock and started to slide his hand up and down the hard flesh, hand twisting around the crown. "Jared!"

 

Jared smiled against Jensen's hairline, his lips gliding along his sweaty neck, tongue lapping at the small droplets forming there. "I love you," Jared told him as his hand started to speed up. Jensen rolled over, lying on his back. He reached up and grasped Jared's head, bringing him down to his mouth, their lips sliding against each other’s in a frenzied kiss.

 

"Uh...uh, God..." Jensen panted, pressing his head back into the pillow. "Jared!" he yelled out as his warm release spilled out of him and dribbled down Jared's hand. 

 

Jared smiled at the sounds coming from his husband; he loved to watch Jensen come, hear the sounds that came from him. He continued to stroke him through the aftershocks, reveling in the feel of Jensen's cock softening in his grip.

 

"Jay-jay," Jensen said reaching down into his boxers to still Jared's hand, the pressure almost too much. Jared pulled his hand out and brought it up to his own mouth, licking the mess off the back of his hand.

 

"Nuhhhh," Jensen sputtered as his body shook and shivered.

 

"Did..did you c-come again?" Jared smiled wickedly down at him.

 

Jensen didn't answer; he only closed his eyes and let his orgasm slither through him.

 

"Mmmmm," Jensen groaned turning onto his side facing Jared. "That was..." he said, leaning close and taking Jared's mouth. "Awesome."

 

Jensen reached down toward Jared's crotch. "Can I return the favor?"

 

"Don't need to," Jared said as he grasped Jensen's hand and pressed it against the large wet spot in his underwear. 

 

Jensen raised his eyebrows and smirked. "You came?"

 

"Yeah. God Jen, you're so h-hot. Watching you fall apart like that," he said, low and gravely. "So hot," he added, leaning over to kiss him once again.

 

 

~

 

 

_One and a half - two months later_

 

 

 

Jensen ended up going back to teach with the regular school session, being that Jared had become fully functional. He still occasionally stuttered on words, but for the most part, he didn't seem to have any lasting effects from the accident.

 

Jared decided to not go back to work for an additional month, wanting to work with a speech-language pathologist to work through the few issues that remained. Since he was a lawyer, it was important that he didn't stutter or have to stop talking to search for a word that he wanted to use. He met with the pathologist three times a week for one on one work, and in the evenings, Jensen would work with him as well.

 

Things had gotten back to normal over the last few months and Jared was actually back to his old self, finally deciding that the past was the past. He was, and he hoped that Jensen was, too, ready to start the family that they both desperately wanted.

 

Jared decided to make a nice romantic dinner and have it all waiting on Jensen for when he got home from school. He was pleased that Jensen actually had a few meetings after his classes were finished, so that dinner would be closer to their actual dinnertime rather than early in the afternoon.

 

"Hey," Jared said picking up his cell. "What's up, baby?"

 

"I'm running late Jay, sorry. We're breaking for a few minutes so that everyone can stretch their legs and get something to drink."

 

"Do you know how late you'll be?" Jared asked, stirring the gravy in the pan in front of him.

 

"Maybe another half an hour? We really don't have that much more to go through."

 

Jared nodded; another half an hour would be good. He was running behind making their food - so all was good. "Ok, uh, will you stop on your way home and get a bottle of wine?" he asked.

 

"Wine?" Jensen sniggered.

 

"What? Maybe I'm in a ro-" Jared sighed at his stutter, "romantic mood."

 

"Mmmm, what do you have planned?" Jensen purred into the phone.

 

"Get a bottle of Argentine Torrontes, k?" Jared said, ignoring the teasing question.

 

"Alright," Jensen answered. "But I better get a blowjob outta this," he joked.

 

"You never know," Jared teased back. "Call me when you leave the liquor store, k?"

 

"K. I love you."

 

"I love you, too."

 

 

~

 

 

 

Jensen walked inside the house and smiled. He could smell the food that Jared had cooked, he could see the dimmed lights coming from the dining room and there was soft music playing in the background.

 

"Hey, I'm home," he announced, knowing that Jared already knew, since he'd called him five minutes ago as requested.

 

"Hey," Jared smiled, walking around the corner without the aid of his cane, his limp barely noticeable.

 

He was dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a blue t-shirt that hugged his body just right. Simply put, he looked delicious. Jensen walked up to him and kissed him long and hard. Jared moaned into Jensen's mouth as their tongues tangled together. 

 

"Jen," he bit out against his lips. He pushed Jensen's jacket off of his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor and started to pull his tucked-in shirt out of his dress pants.

 

"Jared," Jensen gasped pulling away. "Your dinner..."

 

"It's ok, in the oven, on warm," he growled as he started to unbutton Jensen's shirt. "Want you," he whispered against Jensen's mouth. "Been too long."

 

They still hadn't had full-on sex since they'd been home. Jared had tried to fool around several times but it would always end with mutual hand jobs or blowjobs, never full-on sex. When Jared asked him why, Jensen was finally honest and told him that he was afraid that he would hurt him, afraid that perhaps he would re-injure his leg or arm, bust one of his ribs or something. 

 

Jared understood his fears, because sometimes they did get a little rough, and seeing that they hadn't had sex in a long time, they could very well get out of hand...but tonight - tonight he wasn't taking ‘no’ for an answer. He wanted this. Wanted Jensen.

 

Jared finally got frustrated with each of the little buttonholes on Jensen's shirt and grasped the material at the top and yanked it apart. Buttons flew everywhere, pinging against the wall, table, floor and carpet - all singing their broken tune of lust. He pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, letting it slide to the floor, pooling around Jensen's shoes. Jared hooked his fingers into Jensen's belt loops and walked backwards toward the couch, their lips never leaving one another’s. 

 

Jared toed off his shoes and pulled away from Jensen to pull off his own shirt, and he smashed their mouths back together as Jensen pulled off his own shoes. Jared reached down, unbuttoning his jeans, and after he pushed them down his hips, he kicked them across the room. He fell to his knees and opened Jensen's pants, peeling them slowly off along with his boxers, his mouth watering at the mere sight of Jensen's hard cock staring him in the face. 

 

"Legs," Jared said, the warm air from his breath skating across Jensen's dick.

 

Jensen lifted each leg in succession, and Jared discarded his pants, boxers and socks. As Jared stood, he slid his hands up the outside of Jensen's thighs and slid them around to his ass. In one quick movement he picked Jensen up and sat down on the couch at the same time, Jensen straddling his lap and facing him.

 

Jensen smiled and canted his hips, delighting in the look that washed over Jared's face. He moved again, their cocks rubbing together in that oh-so-perfect-but-needs-more-friction way. 

 

"Jensen," Jared gasped. "Want...need..."

 

"Shhhh," Jensen said and he pushed Jared down onto his back before stretching out on top of him. Jensen kissed his way down Jared's chest, licking and sucking on his nipples, then across the hard planes of his body. Lower, Jensen dipped his tongue inside Jared's navel and sucked on the tender flesh of his groin until his skin started to purple. 

 

"Jen," Jared said propping himself up on his elbows, "turn around."

 

Jensen wasted no time in turning his body around, his knees straddling Jared's head. Jensen sucked him down to the base, causing Jared to practically yell. Jensen lowered his hips some, hoping to get Jared to pay attention and realize that this particular position required participation from both ends. He hummed around his cock and smiled when he felt Jared's hands grasped his ass. What he wasn't expecting was for Jared to push him forward slightly and pull his ass apart even more so that he could dive in, licking and kissing across his asshole.

 

"Mmmmmuhhhh - " Jensen gasped, letting Jared's cock fall from his lips. "Jay - nuhhhh!" he sobbed as Jared slid his tongue inside him.

 

Jared attacked his hole as if he were worshiping it. He pressed his mouth fully around the pink knot, his tongue slipping and sliding along his entrance and starting to push inside. Jared pulled away and licked his finger, wetting it thoroughly; he pushed it inside, grinning when Jensen's lips once again left his cock. 

 

Not wanting to come too soon, Jared pushed Jensen further forward and sat up a little more, moving his lower half away from Jensen's mouth. He went back to the job at hand; opening Jensen up for him. "Love you," Jared said between licks and he kissed at the slightly stretched out rim. "Gonna get you open for me, Jen. I want you to ride me baby...would you like that?" he asked, his voice dripping like honey.

 

"Yeah - God yeah. More, Jared...more," he rasped. 

 

Jared pulled his finger out and reached under the couch for the bottle that he'd put there earlier hoping that after dinner they'd get to fooling around - but hey, dessert before dinner didn't hurt, and Jensen was his favorite flavor. 

 

He clicked open the cap and poured the slick liquid onto his hand, thoroughly coating his fingers. Then he pushed into the older man with two. Jensen's body shivered from the cold lube slicking his body but started to mewl when Jared's fingers passed across his prostate. "More," Jensen demanded pushing back on his husband’s fingers. "More Jay..."

 

Jared started to scissor his fingers, spreading them - opening Jensen slowly, watching the man he loved fall apart above him. When Jared pushed in a third finger, Jensen's body shook, his legs seizing - he was about to come. "Jay...jayjay - stop. I wanna come with you inside me," he panted.

 

Jared slid his fingers free and groaned at the sight of Jensen when he turned around and looked at him. Jensen's eyes were dark with lust, pupils blown wide, his face sweat sheened. "Gonna fuck down on you so hard Jared," he said, leaning forward to kiss him long and hard.

 

Jensen planted his knees firmly on either side of Jared's waist, opened the tube of lube, and squeezed a large amount out. He swiped his hand up and down Jared's cock several times. He lifted up and held Jared's cock steady, then sank down on him. 

 

Jared's large hands were splayed across Jensen's thighs, but he started to move them up his legs and let them come to rest on his hips. 

 

"Move baby...guhhh - move," Jared urged as he undulated his own hips.

 

Jensen started moving slowly at first, Jared fucking up into him, matching Jensen's down strokes. Jensen had his palms pressed against Jared's chest for leverage and he watched his lover arc back against the couch. 

 

"Harder," Jared grunted as he slammed up into Jensen's tight heat. "Come on Jen...won't break." 

 

Jensen closed his eyes, stretched back and balanced his hands on the top of Jared's thighs. He rode him in earnest, his body jerking back and forth on Jared's cock, the sound of their thighs smacking together filling the room. "God - Jared - uh, oh God..." Jensen cried out. 

 

Jared sat up, pulled Jensen toward him, and brought their mouths together. He tumbled forward, getting Jensen's back flat on the couch and started to slam into him harder and harder causing Jensen's eyes to snap shut. He cried out in pleasure once again as the tip of Jared's cock slid along that wonderful spot inside him.

 

Jensen wiggled his hand between their bodies and started to pump his dick in tandem with Jared's thrusts as his orgasm neared. "Gonna come," Jared panted into Jensen's neck. "Jen, oh fuck Jensen.... " he howled out as his body convulsed, the muscles in his body going rigid when his cock exploded inside his husband. Jared's hips snapped back and forth erratically, his entire body shaking as he continued to pulse load after load, coating Jensen's channel.

 

"Jared..." Jensen moaned just as his eyes rolled back in his head and his own orgasm slammed into him. His cock throbbed between their bodies, the slick mess providing more sliding movement as Jared continued to ride out his orgasm, though his body was slowing with each and every thrust.

 

Jensen's legs slid down the outside of Jared's legs and his body seemed to melt into the couch as Jared melted into him.

 

"You ok?" Jensen asked, rubbing his hand up Jared’s sweat-drenched back.

 

"Yeah, you?"

 

"Awesome," Jensen half-snorted.

 

Jared managed to lift his head and look down into Jensen's eyes. "I love you," he whispered quietly.

 

"Love you right back," Jensen said, not missing a beat. 

 

Jensen winced slightly when Jared pulled out and sat up on the end of the couch. "Go clean up upstairs - I'll clean up down here and we can have dinner, k?"

 

"K." Jensen nodded. Jared watched him as he padded across the floor naked and wolf whistled when Jensen reached the stairs. "Shut it," Jensen said red-faced.

 

Jared just chuckled that deep, low laugh that made Jensen's body shiver every time he heard it.

 

 

~

 

 

They sat at the table enjoying the wine, the fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and peas that Jared had made for dinner. They hadn't said much to one another, mostly because they'd both worked up one hell of an appetite. But the silence was deafening, and Jensen just had to ask. 

 

"So, were you trying to seduce me with this great dinner?" he smiled, his eyes bright and sparkling. Jared always loved the way his eyes would sparkle after a particularly awesome round of sex.

 

"No, I knew that you'd eventually put out," he joked back. "You can only resist me for so long."

 

"So, what's up then?" Jensen inquired, taking another sip of his wine.

 

"I'm going back to work next week. I talked to Dave today and he said that they've already got me a case lined up to take on to ease me back into things. Nothing too stressful, so you don't need to worry about that." Jared shrugged.

 

Jensen frowned. "Did you think that I wouldn't want you to go back?"

 

"No, no, not at all. I uh, I wanted to talk about our family."

 

"Jared - I don't want to talk about it, I told you a month ago, I'm not calling her..."

 

Jared held up his hands. "No Jen - our family; the one that we wanted to start. I want to start checking into it. I want a baby.” He took Jensen's hand in his own. "I know that it'll be hard, especially with the long and crazy hours that I work, but I want it, Jen. I want a baby. I talked to Dave and he gave me the number of a woman who specializes in gay and lesbian adoptions."

 

“Really?” Jensen asked, tightening his hold on Jared’s hand. 

 

“Yeah, really. What do you think?”

 

“What do I think?” Jensen echoed, smiling over at him. He stood up and pulled Jared to his feet, then over into his arms. “I love it, I love you - that’s what I think.”

 

Jared smiled into his husband’s neck and hugged him tight.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

 

Jared was lying on the couch, back against the armrest. Jensen was sitting between his legs, back against Jared’s chest, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. Jared kissed at the side of his neck, his hands snaking around Jensen’s body so that he could take a huge handful of popcorn.

 

“You know,” Jared said munching on the snack, “he’s really kinda hot.”

 

“Who?” Jensen asked, turning his head to look at him. 

 

“Weird Al Yankovic -“ Jared answered snarkily. “Christian Bale, Jen - we are watching Batman…”

 

Jensen made a disgruntled scoff and actually pouted, for all of two seconds. “So, is he on your list?”

 

“List? What list?”

 

Jensen chuckled. “Every couple has **the** list,” he said, turning to look at Jared. When Jensen realized that Jared really didn’t have any clue as to what he was talking about, he caved and said “Every couple has a list of three celebrities that they can do, no strings, and the other person can’t hold it against them.”

 

“Huh,” Jared said. “So who is on your list?”

 

“Who’d be on your list?” Jensen retorted.

 

“Well, obviously Christian Bale…” Jared snarked. 

 

Jensen turned sideways on Jared’s chest and grabbed a hold of his nipple and twisted it.

 

“Ow!” Jared jumped. “You asked!!” 

 

Jensen chuckled. “Hmmm - who would I want to fuck that you couldn’t get jealous of?” he teased. “I think that one of them would definitely have to be that hot guy on that show Leverage - what’s his name? Christian Kane…he’s smokin’ sexy.”

 

"Whatever," Jared said flippantly. "Uh...Vin Die..." but Jared's words were cut off by the phone ringing. He reached back behind him and pulled the phone off of its charger. "Yeah? This is Jared," he said after a moment. Then he gasped out a huff of air and said "Are..are you serious?" 

 

Jensen moved away from Jared's body, turned and looked at him with a frown on his face. He mouthed 'Who is it?'

 

"Hang on a minute Claire," Jared said, pressing the phone into his chest. "Someone wants to meet us," he explained. "It's a young girl, sixteen, and she's due in a month, Jen. She picked us out of all the other candidates."

 

Jensen visibly swallowed. Hard.

 

"Does it usually work this quickly?" Jared asked her once he got back on the phone. "I mean, we just filled out all the paperwork three months ago and..." Jared paused. "Nonononono...we're happy. We want to meet her, too. Yes, of course."

 

Jensen was bouncing on the couch by the time Jared finally got off of the phone. "Claire said that she picked us out of over a hundred couples, Jen. Over a hundred! And she wants to meet us tomorrow."

 

"Oh my God...this is really happening."

 

Jared smiled. "I can't believe it. I mean, when we had our initial meeting, she set us up for a fall. There are some people that have been waiting years to adopt, I just...I can't believe it."

 

"When? Where? What time...Oh my God!" Jensen exclaimed.

 

Jared pulled him into a tight hug, their bodies tightly pressed against one another, and they slowly swayed back and forth.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

 

"What if she doesn't like us?" Jensen asked, fiddling with his tie for what seemed like the millionth time. 

 

Jared batted his hands away. "Will you stop? You're making me nervous. And your tie is fine. Quit screwing with it."

 

Jensen looked at Jared. "I can't believe you wore jeans and a button down. You should have dressed up."

 

"Bite me," Jared simply said as the elevator doors opened. They stepped out and walked to the door, the first one on the left that read 'Claire Johannsen'. Jared knocked hesitantly. 

 

"It's open," Claire’s pleasant voice called out.

 

This was it. They were going to walk through that door to see a scared young girl; the girl who would give them their family.

 

Jensen entered first and he smiled at her. Jared followed and grinned before shutting the door.

 

"Melinda, this is Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Gentlemen, this is Melinda Frantz."

 

"Hi," she said meekly. "It's nice to meet you." 

 

"Yeah, hi," Jared said, shaking her hand. 

 

Jensen did the same.

 

"So, Melinda, would you like to tell them a little about yourself?" Claire asked.

 

Melinda snorted. "I'm just a dumb kid who did a dumb thing. But I don't want to do something ignorant. I love her enough to know that I can't raise her myself. And my foster parents have no interest in it, either. My boyfriend booked it when he found out that I was pregnant...but he agreed that he'd sign away his rights. He doesn't want her or me."

 

"I'm sorry," Jared told her. "That must have been a really hard decision."

 

Melinda nodded. "I won't change my mind, though. I know that I can't take care of her. And I need to finish school," she shrugged.

 

"Yeah, you should. It's your entire future," Jensen said, then stopped himself. "Sorry, it's the teacher in me," he laughed.

 

"It's ok, really." Melinda nodded. "Is there anything you want to know?"

 

"Are you sure that it's a girl?" Jensen asked.

 

"Yeah, I had an ultrasound a few weeks ago. The tech person said that she was close to the front and you could see really well that she is a girl. Is a girl ok?" 

 

"Yeah, sure! We both have little sisters, we love girls...just not like that obviously..." 

 

Jensen kicked Jared. Hard. 

 

Melinda sniggered. "It's ok. I know from your paperwork that you’re gay. I picked a gay couple on purpose. My dad’s were gay, and other than getting pregnant at sixteen, I turned out pretty good. I loved both of them very much. I was very happy with them until..." Melinda looked down. "They got sick."

 

Jared reached over and took her hand. "I'm so sorry."

 

"It's ok. My foster parents are pretty good. They just said that they weren't raising a baby. I guess that I understand it. They're older and probably couldn't handle all the screaming and crying and stuff," she shrugged again.

 

They continued to talk for over two hours, about her fathers, their lives, jobs and families. Melinda was pleased to learn that Jared and Jensen had been together all their lives. She told them that she knew they could provide a stable and loving home for her baby and asked them if they would like to legally adopt her.

 

It was the greatest day of their lives.

 

 

~

 

 

On the ride home, Jared took in a deep breath and huffed out "Jen?" in a long, sighing question.

 

"Oh God, what? The only time you do that is when you have bad news. What?"

 

"You need to call your mother. Wait!!! Wait!" Jared said, holding up his hands in a surrendering fashion at the flash of anger in Jensen’s eyes. "Let me finish before you go off and start a huge fight."

 

"After this discussion, I don't want to ever talk about her again, Jared. I'm serious this time," Jensen growled as his knuckles went white from holding the steering wheel so tight.

 

"I think that you need to call her, Jensen. Call her and let her apologize."

 

"No."

 

"Jen, right this second, if she died, how would you feel? Wouldn’t you regret it? We're about to become parents in a month, Jen... _parents_. Even if you were the biggest dick on this earth to our daughter and you knew that your actions caused her emotional pain, and caused the person that she loved emotional and physical pain...how would you feel if you never talked to our child again? You need to forgive her, Jen."

 

"What if she isn't sorry?" Jensen whispered.

 

"She is," Jared said looking over at him. "I talked to her a few weeks ago."

 

Jensen stared straight ahead. Jared knew that he was pissed. Really, really pissed. Jensen’s jaw was set in a tight ‘I can’t fucking believe you did that’ way, and his ears were turning red.

 

"She called to talk to you, but you were teaching that evening adult education class for your friend. She apologized to me, and I think that she meant it. I didn't tell you until now because you weren't ready to hear it."

 

"Jared...." Jensen said low and soft, shaking his head. “I tried to trust that she was sorry for the past, and ready to accept me for who I am once. And it almost got you killed. I’m not doing it again.”

 

"Jen, I'm serious. Think of how you would feel if she was gone tomorrow," Jared said, as they turned into their driveway. "Just think about it, ok?" He leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

 

Once they were inside, Jared watched his husband pace the room. Regardless of what Donna had done to him since he was sixteen years old, Jensen still wanted his mother in his life…but taking that step - trusting that she could actually change was taking it’s toll on him. He sat down on the edge of the couch and stared at the phone as if it were something evil. He picked it up, stared at it, slammed it back in the cradle and paced around the room again.

 

Then he sighed hard and walked to the couch. When he picked the phone up this time, he started dialing a number. Jared stood there waiting. He was holding his breath to see if Jensen would really talk to her.

 

Jensen pressed the phone to his ear and took a deep breath. A moment later, a soft voice answered on the other end. Jensen took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

 

“Hi mom.”

 

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

 

 

Epilogue

 

 

 

_Three years later_

 

 

"Look at him," Jensen said, looking in the window and leaning against Jared's side. "He's so little. Torrance wasn't that small when she was born, was she?"

 

"No, she was a little porker," Jared said with a laugh.

 

"I can't believe that we get to bring him home today."

 

"I can't believe that we get to bring him home today to that madhouse waiting on us," Jared added.

 

"We need to pick which name we want, Jay."

 

"I know. Where were we on names?"

 

Jensen chuckled. "You're a lawyer and you can't remember something as simple as a name?"

 

"Eat me."

 

Jensen threw his head back and laughed. "That won't happen for a while, or did you forget about the poopy diapers, and a

screaming baby wanting a bottle at all hours of the day and night? We'll be too tired to fu..." 

 

Jensen stopped talking when a pretty, dark-skinned woman said "Excuse me, sirs?"

 

"Yeah?" Jared grinned at her. 

 

"We'll have him ready to go in a few minutes."

 

"Thank you," Jensen told her. "Ok, we both agreed no on Jared and no on Jensen as names. No on Jerry and no on Alan after our dads..."

 

"Right."

 

"I still like Jessie," Jensen said.

 

"Yeah, but that's a lot of J's babe," Jared said. "And what if later on, Torrance feels left out because of Jared, Jensen and Jessie?"

 

"Alex?"

 

"No."

 

"Matthew?"

 

"No," Jared sighed. 

 

"You're not helping," Jensen said, poking him in the side. Then Jensen snorted out a laugh. "You know what my class asked me when I told them that I was going to be off for a few weeks because of the new baby?"

 

"What?" 

 

"Jason, the one I'm always talking about, said 'Mr A, you don't look pregnant!"

 

"Bet that opened a can of worms!" Jared laughed.

 

"Tell me about it. I had to change the subject really quick. Man, when I was six I wouldn't have ever thought of saying something like that!" he laughed.

 

Jared cocked his head to the side and looked down at their son. "Hayden. He looks like a Hayden."

 

Jensen stepped closer to the glass window and watched as the nurse picked him up. She snuggled him down into the carrier that they'd given the desk nurse when they’d arrived to pick the baby up.

 

"I like it." Jensen nodded. "Hayden Matthew?"

 

Jared turned to him and smiled. "Looks like he's got his name," he said before he bent down and kissed him.

 

 

 

~

 

 

Jensen opened the door and walked in first. Jared followed, carrying Hayden. "We're home," he called out.

 

They walked into the living room together to be met with Torrance shrieking "Dadddddddy!" and running toward them both. Jensen squatted down and caught her.

 

"Hey Tor, you wanna see your baby brother?"

 

Jerry and Sherri Padalecki stood close by, huge smiles on their faces as they looked down at their son pulling their grandson into his arms.

 

"Tor, this is Hayden," Jared said, sitting down on the floor and grinning as Torrance sat down in his lap. She reached out and poked him with her chubby finger and frowned.

 

Jensen sat down beside them. "What is it baby?" he asked her.

 

Torrance wrinkled up her nose, stood and ran across the room. "Maw-maw, baby!" she said flinging herself into Donna's lap.

 

"I know, I see him. Don't you like your baby brother?"

 

"NO!" she said defiantly, and she folded her arms across her chest.

 

Jared and Jensen both pulled an 'uh-oh' face at each other. "This might not be good...."

 

Donna stood up, holding Torrance as she did so, and walked over to Mackenzie. "You know, when I brought Mackenzie home from the hospital, do you know what your daddy did?"

 

Torrance, not really paying attention, shook her head.

 

Mackenzie took her niece into her arms and scoffed. "What'd he do? Try to nuke me in the microwave?"

 

Donna snorted and continued to walk toward her son and son-in-law. "No, he walked up to me and said 'Give me that baby!'” 

 

She reached down and opened her arms, nodding. Jared handed Hayden to her. "Then," she added, walking back toward Torrance, "your daddy walked around with Mackenzie all day. He cried when I tried to take her away to feed her or change her, and in the morning, when I went into the nursery, your daddy was in her crib with her."

 

"Mom, I don't remember getting into the crib with her, and I should, I was seven," Jensen said, getting to his feet and walking toward her and Hayden. He reached out toward him, and Hayden grasped his finger in his tiny fist.

 

"You did," she smiled and looked up at him. "And that's when I knew."

 

"Knew what?" Jensen frowned.

 

"That I had a really special child in my life...."

 

 

 

The end


End file.
